Lester Cohen/Getty Images• Give it up Twilighters. Kristen Stewart is not hooking up with Robert Pattinson. But doesn't the idea of him with Natalie Portman give you glee?
• Not to say we don't like when life imitates art—we just prefer it to be on HBO. Entourage's Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Turtle (Jerry Ferrara) are totally cute, and so are True Blood's Sookie and Bill (Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer).
• Why must the Pussycat Dolls feel the need to sink their claws into Oscar's Best Song, "Jai Ho"?
• Simon Cowell plans to dash teenagers' dreams in the very far-off future.
• Finally, we have an explanation for Taylor Momsen's Reckless eyeliner behavior.
• Dear Julianne Hough: Thanks for clearing up the confusion about your teeter-totter announcements regarding your participation in this season's Dancing with the Stars. Not that we couldn't have figured it out on our own. Love, Rise 'n' Shine
It's a question for the ages: do Happy Meals actually make you happy? They certainly do when Lindsay Lohan has one in our Big Pic gallery!