Which Hollywood he-man’s been puttin’ on those stilettos without his wife finding out about it (for a time, at least)? Wouldn’t you like to know? Plus, what’s Mel Gibson mouthing off about this time? Man, didn’t your mama teach you how to wash out that dirty puss of yours? Apparently not...

Mel Gibson

209/Most Wanted/ZUMA Press

Australians in Film had some of Down Under's most connected celluloid peeps in an H-town frenzy on Tuesday eve. Harmony Gold, where AIF held a screening of Mel Gibson's Apocalypto. There was a breezy, yet uncomfortable Q&A session with the notoriously anti-Semitic director afterward.

One woman asked, right up front, if the sometimes drunk star planned on being "on his straight mark" during the queries. M.G. did not respond. Earlier, as the gruesome film was fairly well received, the director's appearance was more of a question: In a head-to-toe fashion mess (including white Michael Jackson scrunchie socks and clogs, can we just leave it at that?), Mel-doll's nerves seemed to get the best of him, as the reportedly rehabbed star continuously twitched, rubbed his mushy face and practically pulled out the tresses on his head.

"I thought he did a fine job," defended one snappy Aussie femme.

Still, after confessing to the (only slightly tough) audience that the nearly 50-year-old star feels "merciful," Mr. G. nevertheless, bizarrely outta nowhere, went on to note, "You don't take people into a dark room without fuckin' 'em!" 

No one laughed, understood or even snorted. Dead silence.
Russell Crowe

WireImage.com

Uh, earth to blue-eyed bigmouth: What the eff you drinkin' these days, while you're supposedly on your remorseful comeback trail? Dude, you takin' reputation rehab notes from Russell Crowe, or what?

Other humdrum wanderings (verbal and otherwise) weren't nearly as fascinating, so I wouldn't dream of bothering you with them.

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