Michael Becker / FOX
Let's get ready to rummmmmmble!!!
Or maybe...giggle at the forced drama.
You gotta hand it to the AI producers. They pulled out all the stops tonight (cheeseball capes and boxing gloves, roaring music and slo-mo fight footage) to make it seem as though David Archuleta and David Cook were (a) actually competitive with each other and (b) about to have their careers made or broken by the number of votes they get tonight.
The truth, of course, is that both Davids have proven they have such enormous talent and rabid fanbases that it really doesn't matter who "wins" at this point. "As far as I'm concerned, the competition's over and we're just having fun," David Cook said at the top of the show (after ditching the shiny robe). Holler!
Still, that didn't stop Flattop Flyboy (Simon Cowell) from declaring a "winner" after each round, awarding a victory each time—and at the very end of the night—to David "Archie" Awwwwrchuleta.
If you happen to be a die-hard David Cook fan who's screaming "Bastard!" at your telly, because you can't possibly fathom how Simon considered Archuleta better than Cook, I can tell you exactly why...