Lost, Episode 4: Eggtown

ABC/Mario Perez

Oh. My. Wow. Kate has a _____ and it is _____?

What the @#$%?!!!

If you haven't yet seen tonight's episode of Lost, "Eggtown," feel free to Mad Lib above while the rest of us crack open a nice box of wine and jump into a passionate, scantily clad discussion on what all the insanity in tonight's episode means...

Claaaaaaaaire! Anybody else wanting to reach through the screen and give Claire-bear a bear hug?

'Cause if you ask me, the endpoint of tonight's fantastic (I loved it, did you?) episode—the unexpected reveal that Kate's "son" is actually Aaron, Claire's son—can really mean only one thing: Claire is not alive and well and living among us in the future.

This twist reminds me of what I was told before Lost had even premiered in 2004: Emilie de Ravin's character's unborn child is connected to the history of the Island. Word is, that was the original pitch and storyboard for the full series that was presented by J.J. Abrams and his team back in the day, and it seems a fair bet that Aaron—the only child to be born on the Island—is still at the chewy-gooey epicenter of this ever more layered Lost mythology.

What We Learned

There Were EightIn his testimony, Jack says that eight people survived the crash of flight 815. WTF?! "[Kate] tried to save the other two," he went on, "but they didn't..." They didn't what?! Why is Evangeline Lilly so rude as to cut him off in that very moment? Oh, right. That thing called a script.

Anyhoo, by my highly scientific abacus tally, we now have the Oceanic Six as: Jack, Kate, Hurley, Sayid, Aaron and someone else who is not Claire and most likely in the coffin. (Ben would not count as part of the Six because he wasn't on the flight manifest.) So, who are the two who "didn't [make it]"? And why would Damon and Carlton create a world in which Jin and Sun are not happily raising a bouncing baby Jin Jr. in Korea or Albuquerque? Argh.

Where Were They?  Jack also mentions while testifying that they "nearly starved to death," so...Could they have been discovered on a third island? Not the main Island, not Falcatraz (Jack's residence last season), but somewhere else without fruit and wild boar and big vats of peanut butter? My head hurts.

The Freighters Are F--king with the Losties:  "I've been calling your boat all day. Why aren't they answering?!" Jack demands. I'll tell you why, Dr. Shephard. 'Cause according to FOXNews.com, the freighters' satellite phones can't be real. Duh. (Word is, smoke monsters don't really exist either. Who knew!?)

And that silly article aside, even if the phones are supposed to be real in the make-believe world of Lost, we now know from Miles' $3.2 million (23 in reverse) demand from Ben (not to mention Charlotte and Daniel's dodgy looks to each other when confronted by Jack) that their primary purpose is so not to rescue the 815 survivors. Hate to say it, but cracked-out Locke seems to have a miracle-leg up on Jack so far when it comes to fingering the Freighters. 

Locke Has Stone-Cold Lost His Mind:  First he blows up the submarine and backstabs Naomi, and now he's melting down, slamming trays, kicking Kate out on her keister and saying things like "I am responsible for the well-being of this Island"? Watch out, world, John Locke is going bat-poop crazaaay! And it sounds like things will only get worse for Locke, as Terry O'Quinn just told the Canadian Press that "in the next few episodes people are about to see he sort of stalls again." (In the same interview, Terry says he wanted to shoot Jack in the knee and that it's "almost" a pleasure to see all his costars on set but some are like "your drunk Uncle Bob who's going to abuse your cousin"). TOQ, I ♥ U.

Lost, Episode 4: Eggtown

ABC/Mario Perez

Skate on Thin Ice:  Boxed wine, a real bed and a roof over their heads should have made for a night or two of pure, romantical Skate bliss, but alas, something is keeping Kate from sealing the deal with Sawyer. Is it her feelings for Jack? Respect for roomie Hugo? Or maybe she's playing hard to get (we know she loves a chase)? Clearly, the answer can not be that Kate's concerned about getting pregnant because (a) she said so and (b) plane wreckage that included a pregnancy test would surely include a condom or two! It even had a wig for Claire!

Time Is on Their Side:  We learned last week from Daniel's experiment that time on the Island moves more slowly than it does in the real world. And from the looks of baby Aaron he's, what, two? Three? So, that may mean that if Jack goes back to the land of the Losties, not very much time will have passed. It also is a genius plot trick to explain Walt's probable receding hairline and beer gut the next time he appears on Lost Island.

Kate Can't Go Back to the Islandand Doesn't Want To:  How else would you explain her very eager jump to take the DA's deal of 10 years of probation during which she cannot leave the state of California? Clearly, she wants to keep baby Aaron safe. And something tells me the bad people are after him. Hmmm...Maybe that's even what Sayid's up to in his list-bitch work for Ben—protecting Kate and Aaron?

And so as usual, though we received a few solid and surprising answers tonight, we are left with 4,815,162,342 new questions to go with them. Damn this show and its mental Olympics!

What Lies Ahead

Desmond!  Next week it's all about our favorite nude beach runner and what happens to him and Sayid in the freighter-copter. (Note: The turbulence toggles his "time travel"-y switch and flashes to a run-in with Daniel Faraday as he is a professor at Oxford...This is the clip we see in the preview in which short-haired Des says to long-haired D.F., "Am I gonna die?!" And it should be mentioned that Desmond also could survive off the Island and not be counted as one of the Oceanic Six, since he wasn't on the manifest.)

And the week after that, it's...

Smooch Time!  Chances are, you already know the players (tsk, tsk, tsk). But I think many of you will like the development of that romance. We are also getting very close to the return of Harold Perrineau (Michael), which makes me want to kiss someone my own self. His episode (number eight) will fill in where he's been since we last saw him, and I think you'll be pleased.

Now post your theories, praises and rants below, for there is much to digest from this episode! Specifically, I'd love your thoughts on the Original Eight versus Oceanic Six stumper and any other possible explanations for Kate raising Aaron than Claire's demise...

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