Rooster McConaughey


I'm bored with Lindsay, Heidi and Batman, Answer B!tch! Gimme something new to obsess about!
—Guy, Norwalk

Obsess, sure. Here are 10 juicy things you can latch onto and blog about until Mom calls you to dinner.

1. Child acting turns you into a vampire. Now you know the real reason why Mary-Kate can't tan.

2. Photo blackouts. First Usher won't sell his baby photos. Now Nicole won't sell her baby photos. Really, really hoping that Ashlee and Pete will follow suit and make it a hat trick. Because people who want to see that the Ashlee-Pete baby are the same types of people who once watched live martyr flayings in during the Ottman Empire.

3. Celebrity record labels. Now Matthew McConaughey has one. Any Texan who has a brother named Rooster is bound to discover some fabulous jug bands.

4. Rooster McConaughey. You don't even have to watch Black Gold to get your fill, neither.

5. Throw Rooster's son, Miller Lyte McConaughey, in there, too. What the heck.

6. Supermodel-in-the-making Chanel Iman. I adore me some Chanel Iman. Her mom actually, really named her Chanel Iman. I once interviewed Chanel Iman. I will continue to root for little Chanel Iman right up until she throws her first cell phone.

7. My new book? That comes out in February? Can I start pimping that yet? No?

8. Pointy hair. Not hair that points up like Bart Simpson's or Seacrest's. Pointy hair that points down, à la Pete Wentz and Rumer Willis and Rihanna. It's all fun and games unless somebody loses an eye.

9. The upcoming Mummy movie. Everybody loves mummies. This time, it's a Chinese mummy, which means we can't have Ardeth Bay, the hot guy with the tattoos on his face. But we will get a mummy. Let's hope they let this one walk around with its bandages this time, instead of making sand storms and forming a mean face out of flying insects. It's work enough just to be a walking corpse. Let's just let a mummy be a mummy.

10. Anything that is not the Twilight saga. Anything. Anything.

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