Nobody messes with Titanic.

Responding to an anti-Titanic rant by Los Angeles Times film critic Kenneth Turan, James Cameron shot back in the paper Saturday, accusing the Times scribe of "simmering in his own bile" and being condescending to the ship flick's audience.

Specifically, the three-time Oscar-winning Cameron took issue with a column written by Turan last week. In that article, the film critic laid into the director for calling his editor after Titanic cleaned up at the Golden Globes and allegedly suggesting, "Now that Titanic is the best film of the year, you'll take that guy who didn't like it outside and shoot him."

Turan's points were basically that (a) just because everyone likes Titanic, doesn't mean it's good, and (b) it's not a film critic's job to like movies because they're popular.

Since the Times publishes reader letters on Saturday, Cameron wrote one--a really long one, at that--and the paper ran it as a column. (The paper noted that no other story in recent memory elicited as many letters--mostly negative--as Turan's Titanic abuse.)

In the "Calendar" section article titled "He's Mad as Hell at Turan," the workaholic director takes the writer to task, claiming, "Turan sees himself as the high priest of some arcane art form that is far too refined for the average individual to possibly appreciate."

Cameron notes that his script is full of "archetypes" not "cliches" as Turan insists, and it was recognized by the Writers Guild of America as one of the five best original screenplays of the year.

He adds that Turan "has become further and further removed from the simple, joyful experience of movie-watching," and that the critic "is clearly not a big enough man to admit when he is wrong."

And the coda: "Forget about Clinton--how do we impeach Kenneth Turan? [Signed] Jim Cameron. Santa Monica."

The King of the World has spoken.

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