Kathy Hilton, Paris Hilton

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While lady o' the night Paris Hilton was on her BFF press parade this week, we talked to Paris' parents, Rick and Kathy. Ain't it just a tad strange one of the most famous females on the planet needs to find a friend through a TV show? Said her dad: "Well, it's for entertainment." You mean it's not a real way to score a meaningful relaysh? Ain't there any other way to get a pal to party with who isn't a paid assistant? "She's so busy, truthfully, traveling—she's really gone most of the time," said Pare's mom. "So it's really hard."

Besides the show's lucky winner, whoever she or he may be, who's Pare-poo's true bestie? It obvs ain't domesticated Nicole Richie anymore. "I think [sister] Nicky and Benji. And she has really close friends who aren't in this business, who don't really like it...They're not the type who wanna be in the middle of everything." Guess these nobodies stayed home in Nowhereville that night.

Ever wish your offspring had picked a path that wasn't in the fickle field of fame? Rick's already made peace with the place his kid has carved out for herself in the world: "No, I think it's her passion, and she enjoys it. She obviously has a love for it, so you should do things you enjoy in life. I think it's a perfect one for her." Mama Kath on the other hand? "Sure. Absolutely," said K.H. "We thought [Paris] was going to be a veterinarian!" And some say God doesn't listen to our prayers?

K.H., 'course, supports her girls in their chosen limelights, even donning a dress from Nicky's fashion line. Will we be seeing Nicky with her own BFF show anytime soon? "No, I don't think so. Nicky's a little shier."

Clearly not as reticent as the youngest Hilton, Conrad, who couldn't have looked any unhappier to be at the bash, following his folks around like a scolded puppy. Damn, you musta been badder than your big bro Barron was behind the wheel to deserve a punishment like that.

—Additional sass by Becky Bain

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