TIM OGIER / ABC
• There's a bidding war going on right now over who gets to publish a nonfiction humor book by Tina Fey, but she's been too busy impersonating Sarah Palin to settle it.
• Britney-in-NYC Update Four: The pop star decided to visit a school today in order to prove how much more normal she is now. Unfortunately, the school was closed due to Rosh Hashanah, so her people reportedly had to round up 20 neighborhood kids to meet her.
• Didn't get invited to ScarJo's secret wedding? No worries, plans are in the works for a bigger celebration. (You probably won't be invited to that either, though. Sorry.)
• The airport thrown down between ANTM's Bianca and Nikki Blonsky sounds terrible! In Bianca's version there was mom punching and crotch kicking.