In what Hollywood insiders are calling an astonishing breakthrough for the ailing film industry, ex-Spice Girl Geri Halliwell has “cracked the code” of screenwriting.
“For decades we’ve been trying to write movies that somehow tell a story without everything falling apart, like, halfway through,” stated a major studio source. “Thanks to Geri, we may finally be able to come up with something that’s really worth nine bucks to see.”
Novice screenwriter Halliwell revealed her secrets to U.K. tabloid The Sun, noting that friends “said to write the premise of it first, like the whole story of it. Then every story has three acts whether it’s a screenplay or not. Well, most of them do. The first act is the problem and by the end of the first act you know what the problem is and how you are going to go about it. The second act is like the highlight and by the end of the second act it has to go wrong. And the third act is the resolution.”
Utilizing the remarkable Halliwell "system" may well change the face of entertainment. "With these simple principles," continued the source, "we may no longer need lengthy car chases, huge explosions or fast-cut music video effects. It's really exciting."