Of all the wonderful selling points for Extended Stay Hotels, the chain’s new ad stresses one thing in particular: It’s a great place to fart. All rooms include fully equipped kitchens, cable TV, wireless Internet access and on-site guest laundry, elements that apparently create such a level of relaxation that you simply will not be able to help but break wind.

See mellow guests cut extended gassers in a variety of luxurious Extended Stay settings: In the fully equipped kitchens, in the lobby, in bed (a full-on sheet raiser, by the way) both prone and sitting on a pillow and daydreaming in an easy chair. “No place makes you feel more comfortable,” brags the ad, and they’re not kidding. I stayed at a pet-friendly Extended in Birmingham, Ala., once and my dog was so relaxed he took a dump right on the floor.

So next time you’re traveling and are considering your hotel options, why not choose Extended Stay? And as you drift off to sleep, remember that before you farted on that pillow, the guest before you probably did, too. 

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