Hilary Duff, Mischa Barton, Britney Spears, Lou

George Pimentel/Getty Images; INFdaily.com

If you know Lou at all, you know he gets around. When it comes to Hollywood, there isn't a hydrant he hasn’t sniffed, an after-hours kennel he can’t get into or a well-heeled celebrity leg he hasn’t humped.

Once again, we caught up with McHale’s best friend, and this time while Lou was hanging out at Los Angeles International Airport, where he likes to sit in the Admiral’s Lounge lapping white russians from his sandalwood bowl, watching the lady dogs de-plane. Or as he likes to call them, “fresh caged meat.” Now more of Lou’s frank takes on the canines of Tinsel Town.

Hillary Duff’s Lola: I’ll tell you one thing about that bitch, she’s into toys. Big time. I can handle that, of course. I mean, I’ve been into rope play for years, but Lola, well, she’s young, she’s a kid, gotta have the latest thing, all into the now and wow action. She was always trying to turn me on to Nylabones and the whole plush-toy scene. Just not my bag. But don’t get me wrong, she’s a sweetie. Serious haunches on that minx. You better freakin’ believe it.

Joel McHale, Lou

E! Networks

Britney Spears’ London: Oh yeah, London. Talk about a foreign affair! I loves me some Silky Terrier! But this bitch is spoiled, thanks to mommy. I mean, what a beautiful coat of fur she’s got, and she still wanted me to buy her a fur coat. I kid you not! We had a few laughs, but every time we’d hit the town, nothing but puparazzi. The flashbulbs, these jerks with their snouts in yer face…you can have my share of that, pally. Still, she was a special bitch. Uh, you got her number?

Mischa Barton’s Charlie: Hold on, bub! Lou don’t swing both ways! [pause as Lou throws a phone across the bar and guzzles from his bowl] Don’t tell me to calm down! I am calm! Okay, look. I’d seen some pictures of Charlie that looked good, but who can tell from pictures of dogs? Boy, girl, they all look the same. Ya gotta sniff. Plus, there’s lots of hot French poodle bitches named Charlie…anyhow, this is a dude we’re talking about. Nice guy, but like I said, not my cup of tea. Though I got no problems with that. You know Rip Taylor’s shepherd Chappy? He’s out and proud. We hang all the time. We hit the Dinah Shore Tournament every year and pee on the green, just for laughs. Well, I gotta split. See ya at the track, kid.

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