Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin

Judy Patrick/AlaskaStock.com/ZumaPress.com

Dear Ted:
I seem to recall you expressed plenty of doubts about Obama early on and only threw in your support after he became the nominee. The Right created a whole new media industry digging up dirt on the Clintons and their comrades; however, any dirt published about their candidates now, and suddenly everyone is an evil agent of the liberal elite.
—Saben

Dear Flip-Flop:
True, I was originally a staunch Hill supporter, but if she can throw her support behind Barack, so can I.

Dear Ted:
You suck d--k.
—Eddie

Dear Potty Naughty:
Yes, just not yours! Sorry!

Dear Ted:
I feel sorry for Bristol Palin. However, there could be a good outcome of the Babygate: her mama to finally admit that promoting abstinence as the only birth-control option is delusional. Or else, the V.P. candidate really reveals she is a puppet without a mind of her own.
—MKL

Dear Not Enough:
'Course I feel bad for B.P., she is just a kid (having a kid), after all. If we're talking hypocritical status, then how can John McCain preach fam values when he ditched his wife as fast as Cindy's college car.

Dear Ted:
I can't stand it anymore. I don't care about your political views. I come to this website to get the Hollywood gossip, not to listen to your liberal rants. Get your head out of your liberal ass and give your readers what they come here for...juicy gossip!
—KB, Houston

Dear Middle Way:
At least you said liberal and not fat. Bless you, sweets. Write more!

Dear Ted:
Hate, hate, hate the new format. It annoys me more each day. I find I'm reading you less often.
—NBcatlover

Dear Mail Hater:
Like Britney's perpetual "comebacks," it's here to stay, sorry, doll-face.

Dear Ted:
Are you changing your opinion of Sam Ronson? Did she really sell out Lindsay way back when? I look at the pics of these girls and (whether they are a couple or not) they seem like they are superclose and having a blast together. They seem like they have true bond. Maybe it is true love? Or are you still jaded on this one?
—Amy

Dear Blinding Love:
Hate to disappoint, but yep. But then, we all hook up with people wanting something in return, do we not? As to your query, Sammy wanted the additional infamy, Lindsay ditto. Love has little to do with it.

Dear Ted:
Haven't heard too much from Desk Dee Cee lately. Any fab tidbits on our favorite and/or hated lawmakers? Is W. still hitting the bottle? Thanks, darling!
—L.G. Houston

Dear Dirt House:
In minutes, darling, on both scores.

Dear Ted:
I do feel bad for David Duchovny's wife and kids—how sad and humiliating. Do you think his role in Californication hit too close to home and exacerbated his sex addiction? You know how actors sometimes get too into their roles.
—Melinda

Dear Set the Mood:
If that's the case, then why didn't Tom Hanks turn queer after Philadelphia? Or Julia Roberts start looking like a hooker (instead of just dating like one) after Pretty Woman and Erin Brockovich? Californication had nothing to do with it. The salty seed was already well planted, grown and pruned.

Dear Ted:
Is Baby Tile human or animal?
—C.L. in Pa.

Dear Little of Both:
As human as something can be in this town.

Dear Ted:
Love political poop, but come on...there's a ton of stuff out there about Obama. There has got to be something you deem reportable.
—D Mooney

Dear Barack 'n' Roll:
Trust me, I'm just as concerned about Obama's policy record as I am Palin's. It's just that I trust O with the welfare of our country's souls and bodies more than good ol' boy warmongering McCain.

Dear Ted:
I had to comb through a lot of old Blind Vices (which was fun, actually!), but I think I finally figured out which Blind Vice is David Duchovny. Is he Sylvester Slimeball?
—Em

Dear B.V.-Files:
Yep.

Dear Ted:
I just had an epiphany...is Toothy Tile Liev Schreiber? Baby on the way, same age as Affleck. Come on, it's killing me not to know.
—Gillian

Dear Too Close for Toothy's Comfort:
Not exactly. Actually, not at all. But L and the real Tooth do have so much in common, true.

—Additional English-screwin' reporting by Taryn Ryder

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