Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston

Steve Granitz/Getty Images, Lisa O'Connor/ZUMA Press

Dear Ted:
Can someone tell Brad Pitt to shut up?! Can't his PR people see that more damage is being done than controlled over his out of control yapping? And I hope Jennifer Aniston doesn't care less about him.

Dear Over It:
Trust me, Jen's hunky BF Justin Theroux is keeping her mind off of whatever tabloid trash is being spewed about her this week. And as for boredom? The only person bored these days is me of all this damn drama. Jen's new man definitely doesn't have to pretend he's interested.

Dear Ted:
I know some of the Glee girls (like Naya Rivera) have B.V.s, but I was wondering if the ladies who seem tame and sweet like Dianna Agron, Jenna Ushkowitz and Heather Morris are Blind Vice free.
—Curious Gleek

Dear Not So Innocent:
One of those seemingly sweet chicks has a moniker. I'll leave it up to you to guess who.

Dear Ted:
I'm a Robstenite and all, but Michael Fassbender and Zoe Kravitz are quickly upstaging them. Awkward public pictures side-by-side? Check. Non-responses about the nature of their relationship? Check. A beautiful American girl who is quirkily left of starlet center bagging a hot Brit hunk? Check. Now the real question is, does Zoe and Michael have it in them to Vice it up Robsten style too?

Dear X-men Connection:
They've definitely got some similarities to the Twilight twosome, but Mike and Zoe are far more casual than Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. And while they haven't made it into my Vice vault yet, I'm sure Fassy will end up there. He's too fab (and deliciously handsome) not to!

Dear Ted:
I've always wondered if Judas Jack-Off and Dashed Dingle-Dream's costars know about the boys' on-again, off-again relationship. If so whose side are they generally on? Or are most actually rooting for the doomed relationship?

Dear Bird's Eye View:
Of course they knew. And they totally took poor Dash's side in the sitch. But Judas is the more famous of the duo, so they've got to at least pretend to like the douchey dude despite what he put his former flame through. That's how this town works.

Dear Ted:
I was just watching an old Degrassi marathon, featuring now A-list stars like Aubrey "Drake" Graham, Shenae Grimes and Nina Dobrev, and it got me thinking. With all the onscreen drama at Degrassi, did anyone from the show have some Vicey secrets offscreen as well?

Dear High School Drama:
But of course, B. I'm sure it'd be easy to pick which two do too. Here's a hint: I couldn't care less about Drake.

Dear Ted:
Is Mr. Shue,  Matthew Morrison, hooking up with any of the students in the Glee club?

Dear Barf:
Even if they are all legal, the thought of that makes me uncomfortable. I'd rather watch him make out with Jane Lynch.

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