Does Claire Danes have a new mountain man in her life? Plus, what Britney Spears should do with her down time and what keeps Sting and Trudie Styler together! It's not what you think...
Claire Danes

Jim Spellman/

What’s a diddler of dubious diddlers to do? Remember when Claire Danes, current star of the fallen Stardust, ran off with Billy Crudup, who ran away from his big-time preggers hon, Mary-Louise Parker? Sure ya do, or else you wouldn’t be reading this column now, would ya? Right. So, we get this, like, hyperventilating tip from West Virginia, where locals swear on their nicotine-stained grandmother’s souls that Claire was just in town suctioning face with some famous local dude writer.
Hugh Dancy

Jim Spellman/

Hmmm. Interesting. Wasn’t Claire-doll busy with her hot (for an English dude, that is) Evening costar, Hugh Dancy, as of late? Haven’t they been busy playing the terribly serious acting-type, clandestine lovers in New Yawk, where Claire’s currently on Broadway in Pygmalion?

Well, don’t look to C.D.’s reppers for confirmation on any dude-dangling the infamous fella-femme might be up to. They’d sooner tell us what Claire really said about Mary-Louise Parker behind her back, but whatev. Howev, hangers-on supertight with Ms. Dee insist the broad’s hardly left Broadway, as of late, and she couldn’t possibly have had time to jet down to Virginia for a quick peck on any part of her bod. “Impossible,” they practically hyperventilated back ‘bout the southern scuttlebutt. Hmmm. Claire-babe, you do always seem to be stirring things up, stud-wise, doncha? Love that ‘bout ya! Don’t ever change!

But do tell us if it’s Hugh or some touchy-feely southern comforter for ya right now. You know, ‘cause you’re that intellectual actressy type ‘n’ all, makes us crazy to know what makes you crazy!
Britney Spears

Britney Spears didn’t get custody back…big friggin' surprise! Seems the judge thinks Brit just ain’t ready to be a full-time mamacita again, and we wholeheartedly agree. She should have plenty of free time on her hands, since Kev will be on daddy duty for most days. So, here’s what Brit should do: Stop going to Starbucks and start promoting her album! Focus on the positive, g-friend: Blackout just dropped this week and reviews are halfway decent. Why not set up some CD signings and meet and greets with the remaining fans you have? Try and actually take some meetings with music execs and video producers, instead of blowing them off while dancing around buck naked in Mali-boo-boo (as we reported on Monday).
Gwen Stefani

Jamie McCarthy/

And we know you don’t feel up to touring, but how about a concert or somethin' right here in Hell-Ay? You could donate all the proceeds to houses ruined in the fires like Gwen Stefani did in San Diego. Might as well make the most of the toddler-free time you got on your hands, hon...and we don’t mean by hitting Hyde, already.
Blythe Danner

Steve Granitz/

Oh, back at our Environmental Media Awards, Blythe Danner was on hand to give an award to Trudie Styler, and she revealed how she taught her famous (formerly infamous) offspring, Gwyneth, about environmentalism early on. “When she was about two, we’d have a sign in the car we’d hold up when we passed trucks who were polluting—'You are polluting,' it said,” reminisced Gwynnie’s mama. Uh, great 'n' all, but really, how freakin' holier-H'wood-than-thou is that? Driving around in a pollution-spewing car, pointing your finger at pollution-spewing trucks—which are probably hauling her yet-to-be-bought Gucci bags and Prada boots to Bloomies, by the by—and telling your kid that’s environmentalism? To quote Chris Farley, the gonzo Gandhi of our time, "Well, la-dee-friggin'-dah!"
Gwyneth Paltrow

Ron Galella/

“And once, we stopped at a stoplight and she rolled down the window and said to a truck driver, a huge guy up in this big cab, 'You’re powooting.' And I said, 'Omigod, he’s gonna come down and turn the car over.” But he said, “I am? Oh, I’ll go right to the shop and get that fixed!”

So Gwyn-love started saving the world before she was outta diapers? Well, now, were they landfill-filling disposable Pampers, we politically correct wonder? I’m close to puking over all this, but Cristina thinks it’s all go-to grand, so what the ef do I know. Regardless, you go, you mean G-girl!

Antonio Sabato Jr

Kayte Deioma/ZUMA Press

Antonio Sabato Jr., sipping a virgin mojito during a biz lunch. The sober muscle-muffin was spotted lunching at Luna Park with an agent/manager type, where the twosome noshed on Alaskan salmon and grilled chicken. Worker bees say both boys were “very nice and polite” and that Antonio looked “debonair as ever” in a pressed blue shirt and tie with gray pants. We’re simply thrilled. Hanging out in steamier locales was...
Taye Diggs

Lisa O'Connor/

Taye Diggs, hanging by the pool at the Parker hotel in Palm Springs. Taye was hangin' with a boy bud and wearing “cute swim trunks,” natch! We think that guy could make anything look damn superfine, don’t you? No word on where his wife-unit Idina Menzel was on this particular day. Too bad she missed the poolside frolicking! Celebrating across the pond was...
Princess Caroline

Virginia Farneti/LaPresse/ZUMA Press

Princess Caroline, at the Princess Grace Awards honoring George Lucas. Royalty mixed it up with some of the Hollywood set, including Tommy Hilfiger, Anne Hathaway and Star Jones Reynolds, of all random guest lists. And apparently, William and Harry have some competition for hottest heirs. “Can I say how hot Caroline’s two sons are?” breathed one overstimulated partygoer. “Forget the Windsor boys, and say hello to the Casiraghis!” Well-preserved peeps elsewhere included...
Sidney Poitier

Lisa O'Connor/ZUMA Press

Sidney Poitier, picking produce at Bristol Farms on Beverly Drive. The Oscar-winnin' octogenarian was spotted squeezing the papayas and pears at the grocery store while shopping solo. Sid was wearing blue jeans and a green blazer and schlepping his own shopping basket. Cooking with fire in another city was...
Teri Hatcher

Marianna Day Massey/

Teri Hatcher, chowing down for charity at Spago in Sin City. During the Keep Memory Alive fundraiser back in February, lunch with Teri was auctioned off for a cool $150,000. Before dining, Ter-bear and her group did a cooking demo with the Spago chefs, and then everyone dined on chilled grouper, Maine lobster and pumpkin cheesecake. Can’t imagine she ate much of it, damn waste.
Sting, Trudie Styler

Kevin Mazur/

Got even more green gab to get to from the EMA Awards we hit last week, which air Nov. 7, right here on our very own network. Trudie Styler was being honored with the Lifetime Achievement award for her environmental activism, but she confessed to us that there’s one eco-unfriendly habit she can’t break.

“I knew someone was going to ask me that!” she laughed. “My husband says I’m really bad at turning the faucets completely off. I’m always leaving it dripping, so I’m really working on that.”

Speaking of Sting, Trudie’s rockin' hub-unit, he was in the house this par-tick night but let his missus shine solo on the carpet. The two later hung out inside during the ceremony and at the after-party. We also asked Trudie what the secret is to their happy marriage. These two have been together forever in Tinseltown years, and there’s been tons of rumors about their racy activities.

So, we were expecting the Brit broad’s answer to be semisassy. Swinger parties, perhaps? Strip clubs? Tantric sex?  

“Lots of laughs,” Trudie demurely replied. Sure you didn’t mean lots of lube?

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