We gossip gurus aren’t the only ones interested in whom Lindsay Lohan is or isn’t boinking…Here’s proof that even the most highbrow pubs are jonesing for juice, too. Plus, what’s up with Tom & Katie and Kate & Owen?
Lindsay Lohan

Dan Herrick/ZUMApress.com

"Did he f--k Lohan, or not?"           

Vanity Fair reporter who contacted me regarding Bruce Willis' reported hookup with Lindsay Lohan a while back 

Oh, I just love life, don't you? It's so rich, so ironic, so...fake

Sorta like VF's rep for only being interested in the fancier, more posh sides o' Tinseltown. But there it is, above, the emailed dirty truth from my old Premiere colleague and editor, Peter Biskind, who now toils for the rich 'n' snotty set when he's not writing killer books about Hollywood.

Bruce Willis

ALM 109/Most Wanted/ZUMApress.com

I told Peter, when he originally contacted me for a VF piece he's doing on Willis, I wasn't interested in Bruce's love life (I still can't believe anybody named Bruce is straight). I said I was far more devoted to the amour habits of Lindsay...hence, Peter's bitchy, demanding response, along with a firm, finger-shaking edict for me not to be coy about the sitch—Vanity Fair readers need to know these important affairs o' the nation! 

So, Lindsay, I'm gonna pass this one on to you, my dear: Consider your next Vanity Fair Oscar party invite very carefully before you deny or confirm the rumored age-blind hookup. We await your answer with canapé-perfect breath.

Tom Cruise

Ash Knotek/Snappers/ZUMApress.com

Oh, and as I promised yesterday, let's talk about Tom Cruise fer a bit. (He must be breathing a sigh of relief that they nabbed the lady stalker who was prowling his prop—get the deets in our news story). Just wanted to comment on all this biz in the press lately about how very exacting Tommy-babe is supposed to be with his Katie-poo. 

Well, let's ask a few things in the process, shall we?

Why does Andrew Morton's book on the "supposedly" controlling T.C. appear to be stuck in Nowhereville? It was due to come out last fall, I was told; now, I hear, Andy's still "writing" it. I also want to point out here that A.M.—famous for writing all about the infamous Diana, Princess of Wales—has said going up against the lethally tough royal family was a "walk in Hyde Park" compared to snooping out Tom Cruise. 

Why's that, Mr. Cee?

Nicole Kidman

Dan Herrick/KPA/ZUMApress.com

Why, back at that Mentoring charity event I mentioned a few days ago (the one where certain table-hoppers claimed T. 'n' K. had "zero chemistry"), were there hardly any clips of any flicks Tom did with his ex, Nicole Kidman? Is making a film with your wife under the tutelage of Stanley Kubrick the equivalent of directorial chopped liver, or something?

Katie Holmes

Lester Cohen/WireImage.com

Why do Katie's Ohioan friends and fam, according to my über-trusty Desk Toledo, claim all talk of Katie Cruise is now verboten—she's simply not mentioned anymore? Hmmm. Good questions, I'd say, when trying to figure out our original query.

Kurt Russell

Lisa O?Connor/ZUMAPress.com

Got a tad more juice from the Grindhouse premiere we were yakkin' about yesterday from my gab with Kurt Russell. I asked Goldie Hawn's beefcake how he liked playing a masochistic murderer.

"I've played killers before," Kurt said, "but I've never played a psychotic mass one like this guy. He's just out of it, and at the end of the movie, he takes a dramatic turn, which was really fun to play." Not really my cup o' testy tea, but guess it's liberating to play nutso characters, right?

Then the tawk turned personal, when a reporter asked how his frolickin' fam was. "They're good," he replied. "They're all over the place!"

Owen Wilson, Kate Hudson

Kevin Mazur/WireImage.com

This was just one day before the news broke that his stepson, Oliver Hudson, and his wife are expecting a tyke. But what we journos really wanted to know was about Goldie's girl, Kate Hudson, and her rumored romance with Owen Wilson.

"That's their world," retorted K.R., when someone (not I) asked if he approved of the duo. "I'm not gonna watch them."

Smart move on staying mum, Mr. R. Joe Simpson and Jon Voight should take notes from this guy.


Dear Randy Readers:
Cristina and I are off next Mon., Apr. 2, so be sure and do something to get yourselves salivating, 'kay?

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