At what price Britney? Has our complete and utterly slobbering devotion to the downward spiraling Spears prevented attention towards just as worthy tragedies, such as the late Brad Renfro? Is Courtney Love wishing more than she can chew? What the hell do you think?
Brad Renfro

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Everyone, haul out your precious Tiger Beat posters—young, Hollywood heartbreakers are in some serious trubs this week. Starting on a far less sassy and much more serious note, how beyond hideous that the edgy young actor Brad Renfro was found dead in his Hell-Ay apartment.

This is just one thing about the whole Britney breakdown boo-hoo crap that really pisses me off: Plenty of folks who have histories with drugs (like Brad, Britney and a gazillion other peeps in this insane biz) struggle without one iota of the attention that the Lynne Spears-bred gal is getting. It’s beyond out of whack. How many more Renfros need to expire before the microscopic gauge is refitted and reformatted with more equanimity? Prolly never. So, never friggin’ mind.

Lindsay Lohan

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Now, Renfro’s always been a bad boy, both in his real and reel life—loved him so for this! B.R. consistently chose darker roles than his fellow tween actors. As a young babe, he wowed crowds with his turns (and his bedroom eyes) in the dramas The Client, Apt Pupil and Sleeper, and he spent the last few years dropping by in indie flicks while battling some deadly addictions.

I always thought this talented lad had a bright career in front of him, despite his consistent stints in the slammer and trips through rehab's revolving door. Lindsay Lohan? You reading this in the middle of a movie screening, annoying all your fellow movie patrons as you gazing at your glowing miniscreen? Hope so!

Zac Efron

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On some slightly less depressing news, Zac Efron was rushed to Cedars-Sinai for that emergency appendectomy (sounds a lot more believable than "exhaustion" or "dehydration"—better take notes on this, too, Linds).

You can all stop prematurely mourning the loss of High School Musical 3, ‘cause Zacy’s already back to fluttering his eyelashes for drooling fans all over the world. Oh, merde! That was a close call. But did no one catch the buried headline in all that near nastiness? The über-banged boy survived Cedars. Whoa.

Courtney Love

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Courtney Love, 'course, has asked Scarlett Johansson to play her in a biopic about her and her self-slain hubby, Kurt Cobain—something called Heavier Than Heaven, based on the bestselling biography, natch. This is some major Hollywood romanticizing on Court’s part. We can easily imagine Ryan Gosling, who’s been asked to play Kurt, transforming into the suicidal singer with a greasy blond wig and a flannel shirt. But if C Love wanted her casting just right, she would have gotten Janice the Muppet from Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. Kidding. Scar-babe’s perf, ‘cause she doesn’t take any. Ever.
Scarlett Johansson, Headphones

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Who would say no to playin' Courtney Love? You know how the Academy always dishes out Oscars to actors who play ugly. But Scar might not take the bait, what with all the new projects she has lined up. Scar-jay will direct (yes, direct) a five-minute short in the upcoming movie New York, I Love You (à la last year’s Paris, Je T’aime), an anthology of several stories of l’amour in the Big Apple—other directors include Woody Allen.

Think Scar’s just doing the project to get more time with Woody? The muse excuse never seemed entirely innocent to moi whenever Woody talked up his working relaysh with S.J. Then again, Scarlett is a tad too old for him.

Ryan Reynolds

Lester Cohen/WireImage.com

On the romantic-tension front, cannot wait to see what Scar-hon has plated in gold next for the b-f, Ryan Reynolds. Remember when she had one of her wisdom teeth dipped in gold for Ry-Ry’s B-day? Can’t wait to see what bod part Ms. J has eternally preserved in precious metals for Ryan’s next birthday celebration. And then there are the wedding anniversaries—should these two hellraisers get hitched—to think of! What would 50 be, a golden...gall bladder, perhaps?
Makes me wonder: Readers, what’s the grossest thing that ever came of your person that you gifted to your SO? Angelina, don’t write in, we don’t care anymore.
Debra Messing

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It was only a joke. Sort of. But let’s back up: 

Debra Messing, who was nominated for her best work yet in the revenge-of-the-housewives horrorfest otherwise known as The Starter Wife, would be—we predicted back when it became clear the Globes would not be going on, per usual—one of the very few famous faces to show up for Golden Globes gifting venues. Debbie, bien sûr, is the Will Rogers of the freebie set in Hollywood: She’s never met a gratis goodie she didn’t like.

George Clooney

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So, while the Clooneys and the Robertses and the Jolies and such, were all at least doing a very good job of pretending to care about the poor out-of-work scribes (honestly, we think at least two of the aforementioned babes were sincere in their strike-sympathetic efforts), Messing, in all of her hirsute glory, did not shy away from materialistic worship as the rest of T-town continued to crumble amidst terrific misfortune.
Ali Larter

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Ms. M, you see, turned out to be one of the two and a half demicelebrities who showed for gifting opportunities, including the InStyle Diamond Fashion do, at which our girl Grace donned a rare, vintage Oscar de la Renta black velvet, ribbon-tiered cocktail dress. Catch those mouth-watering deets? While most of Hollywood tears up over lost jobs, Debbie-baby’s donning ribbon-tiered couture! Such inspiration for the masses!

Anna Friel and Ali Larter were also in attendance at the same glittery giveaway, but they’re merely amateurs at this grab-at-any-cost stuff. Clearly, they’re learning from the best Marie Antoinette mama of them all.

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