Teri Hatcher

Kevin Parry/WireImage.com

So many parties, so little time. I know, we should all have such problems, right? Still, such was the dilemma for any celeb-stalking journo last night after the Emmys, as all across town, TV actors, producers, writers and friends flocked to a handful of ultra-glitzy soirees. So, who had the best fan-fave turnout? The best vibe and the best mushroom ravioli? Well, after the big show ended, I hit the HBO and TV Guide parties, while my fantastic cohorts in Watch with Kristin crime, Korbi Ghosh and Jennifer Godwin, hit Fox and DirecTV, respectively.

Read on to find out our take on how these soirees stacked up on our extremely scientific five-star scale! (And for the truly juicy, salacious party dirt, check back tomorrow for the craziest-ass Emmy stories I honestly think I have ever had the cojones to tell! If, um, I don't chicken out first…)

Masi Oka, Greg Grunberg

Gregg Deguire/WireImage.com

My Take on TV GuideTeri Hatcher rocked the mike (no joke), while Greg Grunberg played the drums, Hugh Laurie jammed on the keyboard, Bob Guiney sang backup and James Denton strummed guitar. This was the surreal scene upon entering TV Guide’s packed-to-the-max party at Les Deux in Hollywood, as Band from TV took the stage for a good cause (Grunberg's Epilepsy Foundation). Late, late, late in the evening revelers, including The Office peeps and our beloved Heroes, were sipping the party's signature Perrier-Jouet champagne and shaking their tailfeathers together on the dance floor (Vanessa Williams quite literally), while the Grey’s cast and Simon Cowell were a bit more subdued outside. When the lights went up at 2 a.m., the place was still packed, and the dance floor let out a collective sigh/groan that it was over—how’s that for the sign of a good party!?
Rating:  Five stars

America Ferrera, Vanessa Williams, Emmys Governor's Ball

AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian

My Take on HBO:  America! Edie! James! Sally! Jeremy! Katherine! It seemed that all the night’s big winners made it to HBO’s famed and fabulous party, held at the Pacific Design Center in West Hollywood. The one hitch? Not a single one of them stopped at our lowly press line to give us reporters some love—not even Falco and Gandolfini for the Sopranos’ swan song (hmph!).

Still, HBO’s press line did net a little scoop for us TV fans: Adrian set us straight on his friendship with Paris, Smallville’s John Schneider revealed that his upcoming Nip/Tuck character is a porn star (what would Mama Kent say?!), Kevin Dillon reported Drama’s sex-on-the-beach conquest from Entourage’s season finale will be back, and the Sopranos clan (sans Edie and James) all insisted one after the other that there is no “answer” to the big cut-to-black series ender and that Tony’s fate is all open to your own personal interpretation. Well, phooey.

Still, this place was packed with loads of TV favorites, and there was no parking whatsoever on the dance floor—with the Flight of the Conchord guys boogeying down in the middle of it all. Kinda funny.
Rating:  Four stars

James Spader

AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill

Korbi's Take on Fox:  The champagne fountain was in full effect at Fox’s bash at Spago in Beverly Hills. The early revelers watching the Emmy telecast were abuzz with pleasant surprise (shock?) when their own James Spader—Boston Legal is produced by 20th Century Fox—took down James Gandolfini, Hugh Laurie, Kiefer Sutherland and Denis Leary in the Best Actor, Drama category. Spader later showed up, Emmy in hand, and confessed quite sincerely that even he wasn’t expecting it. Leary and Sutherland later showed as well, graciously answering a question or two on the carpet but clearly trying to limit their press time.

Other Fox talent showing face? Prison Break’s T-Bag (aka Robert Knepper), who was thrilled to be out of the Texas heat for a couple of days, squiring his wife around town to all the bashes. Since PB premieres tonight—do not miss it!—I begged him for some exclusive scoop, and he reluctantly spilled that there is a major death coming up! Also on hand was the always hilarious Brad Garrett, who held court on the carpet, with every news outlet shoving a mike in his face all at once. I made the mistake of asking him if Ray Romano would appear on 'Til Death anytime soon. His response? "He already did. And thanks so much for watching it." Oops.
Rating:  Three stars

Mary-Louise Parker

Jeff Vespa/WireImage.com

Jen's Take on DirecTV:  If you're an outdoor person—aka the kind of person who doesn't get giddy over the fact that DirecTV now has 100 high-definition channels—the DTV 100 party would have been a blowout. Set at the West Hollywood Municipal Park, the floodlights set up for the event captured the sight of brown bats diving and swooping for moths and other night insects. The air was damp and soft, and there was even an actual shooting star. No, not the Hollywood starlet kind—the meteor burning through the atmosphere kind.

As for stars of the red carpet kind, well, Mary-Louise Parker looked beautiful but tense in her red Dolce & Gabbana gown with Harry Winston jewels. She was just there for the wild-mushroom ravioli, though—not doing press. Scary Spice arrived strapped into a bustier, and it was world headquarters for the night for Passions stars. (The show is migrating from NBC to DirecTV.)

Brittny Gastineau did the red carpet for a no-name media outlet. Evan Handler stopped by to express enthusiasm about returning to his role as Harry Goldenblatt for the Sex and the City movie but doubted that he'd return as Dave on Lost. Rockmond Dunbar from Prison Break made an appearance. Everyone was circumspect, sober and sleepy. Did I mention the wild-mushroom ravioli was divine?
Rating:  Two stars

Thanks, Jen and Korbi! And to the rest of you, next year we're sneaking you all in, 'kay?

Check back mañana for the craziest stories I think I've ever had to tell from an awards show night...

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