Jennifer Aniston


According to the National Enquirer, Jennifer Aniston and I are "BFFs." Now that Jen and I are both single, we have "paired up" and are prowling for men together. Apparently she and I hosted a speed-dating party at one point. I don't know when that happened...The only part of "speed-dating" I've ever done is the speed. The Enquirer went on to say that Jen and I are going to the gym "Crunch" looking for men; it's going to be a bummer for us when we find out that most of the men that go there are homosexuals. We also tend to "demand" that each female guest that we invite to one of our hot swinging parties bring an "eligible" man for the rest of us to mingle with. Moral of the story: In our fake lives, Jennifer Aniston and I are pathetic.

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