Everything You Know about Clueless Is a Lie: Cher's Real Name Isn't What You Thought

Uh-uh, no way, not even!

By Dominique Haikel Oct 24, 2016 10:51 PMTags
CluelessParamount Pictures

You. Guys. This is just about the craziest thing we have seen since we learned Carrie Bradshaw's Sex and the City squad might have only existed inside of her head. If you want everything you've ever known about Clueless to be completely shattered, proceed with your reading. If you'd prefer to continue living in a perfectly happy bubble, turn back now. We mean it. Once you watch this video, you'll start to question everything.

We grew up calling our beloved main character by the name of Cher Horowitz, right? Well, we hate to break it to you, but that might not be her name after all. We know. We're totally buggin' as well, and there's nothing we can do to make it stop. Someone with the eyes of a Goddamned hawk spotted a goof in the film and posted it to IMDb, Self notes. Last chance to turn back, BTW.

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In the scene where Cher's father is reading her report card, it's written on the top that Cher's name is actually "Cher Hamilton." Um, WHO? What's more is that the mail her pops flips through right before he hits her report card is addressed to "Melvin Hamilton." WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE and what the actual hell is this wizardry? More importantly, how did we not notice this?

Let's break this down into some logical explanations so we can all process this properly. Of course, one can assume that this is just a continuity mistake, and perhaps Cher and Mel's original last name was supposed to be Hamilton.

Someone might have forgotten to replace the props with ones that spelled out her new last name, etc. Is it really that simple, however? There's one other theory we have to discuss. Amy Heckerling, the writer of Clueless, also directed Fast Times at Ridgemont High. If you've seen the film, one of the main characters was a high-schooler named Stacy Hamilton, played by Jennifer Jason Leigh. Some are speculating that Cher's mysterious last name wasn't a goof at all, but rather a cute little tribute to the classic '80s teen flick. We may never know the truth.