Donald Trump, Hair


There are many mysteries man has yet to solve: Was the moon landing a hoax? Is Nessie the Loch Ness Monster real? Does Donald Trump have a toupee? 

The realness of Trump's hair has mystified generations, and he has finally addressed the issue head-on (or has he?).

During a campaign stop today in South Carolina, Trump was annoyed that his hair's authenticity was mentioned a blurb in the New York Times. So in classic Trump style, he used his pulpit to put the hairy (see what we did there?) issue to rest.  

"'Ricardo Sánchez, known as El Mandril for his Spanish drive-time radio show in Los Angeles, has taken to calling Donald J. Trump El Hombre del Peluquín," Trump said while reading a copy of the paper in front of him. "'In other words, The Man of the Toupee.'"

Trump then opened his arms in disbelief and chided, "This is on the front page of the New York Times!"

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Then, a clearly perturbed Trump took off his reading glasses and said, "I don't wear a toupee. It's my hair. I swear!"

The GOP front-runner then pointed to a random woman in the crowd and said, "Come here. Come here. We are going to settle this. You know Barbara Walters did it. Barbara Walters named me the most whatever person of the year, but just come up here. You're going to have to do an inspection. This is getting crazy. Just real quick. We don't want to mess it up too much because I do use hairspray."

Once the clearly excited woman made it up to the stage she did a quick (but obviously very careful) eye test and dropped the biggest bombshell ever.  

READ: Donald Trump says Jorge Ramos "was totally out of line" at news conference

Donald Trump does not wear a toupee!

And just to cover up any trace of thought that the woman might be a plant, Trump said, "And I have I ever met you before?" "No you haven't," she responded. Trump quipped, "No, but you're very nice. Thank you. Somebody's got a very nice wife, I don't know who she is."

There you have it America, mystery solved. Or is it?

Skeptics might argue that the woman never actually touched The Donald's hair, only gave it a quick glance, thus keeping the hair mystery alive.

Our advice is to have Jeb Bush carefully inspect the hair during the next debate on Sept. 16. Or maybe Jorge Ramos if Trump grants him an interview. 

Watch Trump reignite his feud with Fox News by attacking Megyn Kelly on Twitter. 

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