Bank of America

AP Photo/Chuck Burton, File

Somebody get this dude on Shark Tank. Just wait until you hear his restaurant pitch.

In late April, Jeff Waters strolled casually into a Bank of America in Jacksonville. (Raise your hand if you are surprised at all to hear that our story takes place in Florida. No one? Good.) He presented a check for the amount of $368 billion made out to cash.

And this is when the story gets really weird.

Apparently Waters bought a blank U.S. Bank of Idaho check from the '90s off of a homeless man named Tito for 100 bucks. Good ol' Tito told Waters that he could make that check out to any amount he wanted, and Jeff was going to go big. He could have written just $10 million and be set for life. But no. He went for the billions.

Why so much money? He needed the very specific amount of hooch to achieve his life-long dream.

"It's always been my dream to own the best Italian restaurant in the earth," Waters reportedly told police. "I'm 10% Italian. Cooking authentic Italian food is in my blood. I had planned to make the restaurant 80 million square feet and able to accommodated (sic) 30 million eaters at once, plus it was gonna be totally underwater so people could look at sharks while they ate."

How awesome does that sound?! An underwater Italian restaurant that seats 30 million people? Top that, Bobby Flay.

Unfortunately, the bank totally rained on his parade and refused to cash the check. Shocker.

"The bank wouldn't give me my money they owed me," Waters said. "Tito said the check was good for any amount I wanted to write it for. So blame Tito, not me. I'm as innocent as a schoolgirl."

The police found both bath salts and Chinese throwing stars on "innocent school girl" Waters when they arrested him for forgery, which we think is the basic starter kit for restaurant entrepreneurs.

This has been another installment of "Crazy Tales From Florida." Join us next week for another. (Because there is always another).

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