Jennifer Lopez, Angelina Jolie

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Dear Ted:
Can I be honest? I was about to fall asleep with Billy Crystal and all those old people on the Oscars. At least Angelina Jolie and J.Lo woke us up with their awesome bods. Why didn't younger stars like Jonah Hill and Michelle Williams get any recognition? Why is the Academy so obsessed with old people? Sorry.

Dear Not Sorry:
Ever thought it sometimes takes a few more years in the biz to earn an Oscar?! That said, I was privately rooting for Jonah Hill in Moneyball, and I actually thought the Academy might get with it and award him the Oscar (Hill was more deserving than Plummer, in my opinion, so over that play-gay-automatically-get-Oscar deal). And I say, next year: Hosts should be either Emma Stone and Tina Fey Angelina and J.Lo or make it an Oscar-winning duo with Octavia Spencer and Mo'Nique!

Dear Ted:
Before the Oscars, you posted a sort of a follow-up on our fave BV stars. So how about grading their Oscar performances for us long-time followers: Did Fake a la Ferocity look ferocious or high-flying sex kitten? Did Fey Oiled-Tush behave behind the scenes, or did he feel as misplaced as last year's Louboutins? And my favorite that you don't talk much about: Trent Spent. How is old Trent doing these days with his significant other? Is he tiring of her shenanigans and ready to jump ship? Hope he doesn't play yet again the victim though, I am tired of his hurting sad eyes when things don't go his way. Much love to you and your four-legged fam!

Dear Oscar BV Update:
Here's the lowdown for ya R: Fake looked divine but was lacking a certain something in her Oscar appearance. Fey Oiled-Tush was surprisingly well-behaved behind the scenes as he let others steal the spotlight (like Fake). As for Trent? He may be tired of his gal's shenanigans, but after last night, it's obvious who wears the pants in this duo. In other words, don't expect Trent to dip out anytime soon. But the real Vice star of the night? Most definitely Chuck Finger-Dingle, who also looked spectacular and very out of character. Satisfied?

Dear Ted:
Since you already told us that she would be in attendance, can you tell us if Fake a la Ferocity was also a presenter at the 2012 Academy Awards? Love ya!

Dear Fake Takes the Stage:
Look M, Fake presented a lot of things last night, and one may have been a little gold statue. But that's all I'm sayin'.

Dear Ted:
I was looking on Twitter and it seems Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are all Twitter-happy and recently seen together even after their YouTube New Year's song—anything there? I know Joseph is hush-hush about his private life but have you heard anything, does he have a Vice?

Dear 500 Days of Vicing:
Methinks the duo's just friends, but I do sense Zooey and Joseph would make an adorable twosome as well. As for Vicing? Joseph's also a no in that department…perhaps a Vice-free couple's in the making?  

Dear Ted:
Does Kaley Cuoco have a BV? What does her fiancé, an addictions specialist, think of it? Is he a participant in her Vicey behavior?

Dear Big Bangin' Vice:
Sorry J, but Ms. Cuoco's Vice-free. Did you really think a Vicey babe could last with an addiction specialist? That's crazier than Russell Brand and Katy Perry.

Dear Ted:
Well, hindsight sure makes Trent Spent look incredibly easy to determine. Thanks for the clarification on Barbie Sinatra...I focused too much on nurse/teacher/doctor...perhaps the online gossip is true and it isn't a coincidence that you posted that Blind update on a Wednesday? I'm not 100 percent sold on that one, but it seems to make sense. Some people like Sunday Times crosswords...I like the Blind Vices. Keep 'em comin', Ted.

Dear Sunday BV Fun Day:
Not sure what your question is H, but I will tell you that you're over-thinking the Wednesday update. Next time come back with a guess, and I'll be sure to dish tons more deets! And thanks for the love!

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