Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart

Dear Ted:
I assume since you didn't do a post on Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart at the birthday party because you're admitting they're not only over but fake and that you know that photo was faked, right?

Dear Ur Funny:
Uh, so R.Pattz and K.Stew posed (more like got snapped) for an impromptu photo at a pal's party. And you bring out the love CIA and say the whole thing was staged like some sort of grand hoax the country needs to keep going, otherwise no one will buy 1) another ticket to another Twilight movie, and, 2) another Valentine's card ever again. So, Hallmark and Lionsgate are in on the whole plot together, right? Right. I didn't do a post because our stance hasn't changed and it's getting incredibly boring defending Rob and his girlfriend, Kristen.

Dear Ted:
I am so sick of hearing people saying Rihanna forgave Chris Brown so why doesn't everyone else forgive him and get over it. Obviously these people have never seen a loved one being abused. They have never watched their mother be abused by a man so sick he doesn't deserve to be alive. They've never had to try and talk someone out of a relationship because they fear they won't live through it if they stay. I've been there, Ted, in all of these situations and let me tell you it's not fun and there is never a thought of forgiveness. Let these people one time have a daughter go through this and then have them come back and talk about forgiveness. Thanks for listening and being so good-hearted, Ted.

Dear Say No to Abuse:
I couldn't agree more, Tina. It's easy to forgive when you haven't gone through it yourself. I think the people who make uninformed comments about wanting to be abused by Chris don't understand how serious this is. I doubt if their best friend was in an abusive relationship they would be as eager to let this slide so easily. Come on, people die in these situations! I really appreciate all these personal experiences. Maybe if people see how much others are affected by the issue, it will shed new light on a very real problem. 

Dear Ted:
No Twilight boys for Finnick Odair—I want Armie Hammer! I'm still furious that I'm stuck with Woody Harrelson as Haymitch (sooo should have been Robert Downey Jr.), so what can we do to get them to cast Armie? He'd be perfect!

Dear Twi-No:
Don't fret. I'm certain they will do everything to avoid unwanted crossover of the two films (which means you shouldn't worry about Robert Pattinson making an appearance). Love your suggestion for Armie to play Finnick in HG, but what do you think about Garrett Hedlund? He's pretty swoon-worthy, wouldn't you say, Sariah?

Dear Ted:
Scanning recent posts about Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green....and then about Michael Bay. Did Bay manage to get Fox blackballed from projects? She isn't the best actress out there but she has enough body and charisma to keep the paps interested. Is Bay really as much of an obnoxious misogynist? Did she refuse to do him? My 5 dogs—3 rescue elders—say hey.
Just askin'

Dear Potty Mouther:
If you don't recall, Megan said some less than nice things about Michael, and it wasn't middle school name-calling. Perhaps he is not the perfect gentleman, but public crap-talking isn't exactly the best solution for an actress. And directors certainly don't want their stars bad-mouthing them. But then again, who knows what else was really going on behind the scenes. As for the paps, the camera certainly does seem to love her. I mean, good actress or not, there's no denying the girl is gorgeous—and has it.

Dear Ted:
Taylor Swift is single, but Zac Efron had condoms; those are for Lily Collins, not Taylor, right? She doesn't seem like the type to just hook up so quickly!

Dear Emergency Gold:
The shiny little package was definitely not for Taylor. But who's to say it was for Lily Collins? Whoever he was planning to use it with, at least the hunk is playing it smart, right? We're all dying to know who is that lucky someone the little mishap was meant for. My guess…none of the above!

Dear Ted:
Thanks for handling Whitney Houston's passing with grace and compassion. She deserves both. On a different note, two questions for you: 1) Gwyneth Paltrow bugs the heck out of me. Always talking about how healthy she is, how wonderful her life is, how hard she works (yawn). Is she annoying in real life, or do you have any dirt? 2) Just saw an interview with Angelina Jolie, and she is shockingly thin. I know she has been for some time, but what gives? She's so beautiful, but man, is she starving herself?
Not a GP Fan

Dear Power Moms:
Why you hating on my girl, Gwynny? The babe is fab! How can you hate someone that's simply trying to advocate a healthier lifestyle? Obesity is such an epidemic in the US (33 percent of the U.S. population is obese and 67 percent is overweight). And do you know what kind of harmful chemicals are in your daily personal care products? Formaldehyde in nail polish, for example. Ick! Anyway, speaking of gorgeous, multitasking moms, Angelina is a mother of six, an active UN Ambassador, and an in-demand A-list actress. Yes, we can all see the girl is too thin, but I highly doubt she's starving herself…intentionally anyway. Maybe she's so busy that she's forgetting to eat?

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