Kevin Winter/Getty ImagesStephen Colbert is back, people.
After missing two shows last week, the Comedy Central host returned and was ready to face the speculation that had surrounded the "unforeseen circumstances" that took his show off the air.
And those were?
Well, The Colbert Report host shot down rumors that the FCC had shut him down, that he'd angered the Pope or that he might have stayed home to recover from plastic surgery. He was adamant in declaring that he'd not had work done on his face, nose or eyes.
His butt? Well, we'll take his word on that.
Just when the host seemed ready to move on, he paused and gave what may be as close to a public explanation as he is willing to give.
"Oh, one more thing. Evidently having 11 children makes you tough as nails," said Colbert, before adding "Confidential to a lovely lady."
Confidential or not, we hope that means that the funnyman's mother, who was rumored to be ill and who did indeed have 11 kids (losing two and her husband to plane crash in 1974), is on the mend.
Prior to this, Colbert had taken to his Twitter account to thank fans for their support on Friday night.
"My family and I would like to thank everyone who has offered their thoughts and prayers," Colbert writes. "We are grateful and touched by your concern."