Melissa Etheridge, Tammy Lynn Michaels

Lester Cohen/

Dear Ted:
I just read Melissa Etheridge is acting like a douche in her split with Tammy. No spousal support? After she quit her career to take care of her kids? Seriously? Ever since they split and since reading how she's been acting toward Tammy, I have zero respect for her now. An inch away from a deadbeat mom. Call her out on this!

Dear Ex-Post-Effed ‘Em:
Sure, Melissa and Tammy's split might not be the most cordial because of flaws on both sides, of course, but they are a couple just like any other twosome, and some people don't always part on the best terms. As for the children, both ladies can put their problems with each other aside to make sure the kids are well taken care of. Melissa won't let any hostility get in the way of that.

Dear Ted:
Being a huge Harry Potter fan I was just wondering what the gossip was about Emma Watson and her BF George Craig? Anything interesting going on there? We never hear much about her so I was just wondering. And what really happened between her and her ex.

Dear Hermoine's Hairier Half:
Co-ed Emma is pretty damn normal by T-town standards—but that's probably because she tries to completely avoid this Young Hollywood lifestyle. And that includes her romance life. Like any other teen, hers is bound to have its ups and downs (hence the ex), but Emma and her dude are happily normal right now. No goss yet, sorry!

Dear Ted:
Does Terry Tush-Trade have a type? Does she go for Bettys or Veronicas?

Dear Comic Times:
Bettys, babe. And we mean that for gals and guys. Laid-back is totally Terry's style.

Dear Ted:
Do you think Eclipse could have beat New Moon already if the promotion didn't lack Robert Pattinson as much? Sure, the movie has made lots, but the lack of Rob during promotions definitely killed some of my buzz for the movie, especially since this one actually has all three interacting closely together. And let's be honest, Edward wasn't in New Moon much, but Rob was there promoting it all the way. Can't help but think that has something to do with the falling short in numbers. What do you think?

Dear Box Office Rob-bed:
While Rob's inability to pimp out the vamp flick to the same level as with New Moon might have contributed to the box-office beating, I'd say it was only a teeny, tiny bit. I think people who aren't die-hard Twi-hards hated New Moon and hung up their fangs after that. We are in a recession. And hey, Eclipse set three records: biggest midnight gross ever, biggest Wednesday ever and widest release ever.

Dear Ted:
Is this just me or do Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie seem more and more apart. They used to be together all the time, or at least in front of the cameras, but recently Bradly has been out of the picture. Do you think he will be with Jolie at the premiere of her Salt, or he will stay at home "taking care of the kids"?

Dear Red Carpet Review:
Rumors about the duo have died down a bit since the days when the world was literally counting the days until Brangelina went splitsville, so the couple don't feel the need to push the perfect family image down our throats. I would put my money on Brad being by his lady's side though for her premiere though—no need for the buzz to start again, right?

Dear Ted:
In the past, you've stated that Robsten have been in a monogamous relationship. Lately though, you've mentioned they both seem to be "so" not the jealous types, and you describe the relationship as chill and "diverse." Am I right to think the terms of their relationship may have changed somewhat, or has their relationship always been multi-faceted?

Dead Nitpicking:
Remember, doll, these two play by their own rules and aren't as concerned about defining their relationship in the same strict manor that Robsten-addicts want them to. That said, they are very much in a solid relaysh. It's always been unconventional, that's why it works!

Dear Ted:
I've heard some things about Kenny Chesney that make me think he definitely has a few secrets to keep. Am I right?
—Country Curious

Dead Knocking Cowboy Boots:
Oh yeah, babe! I've told you before that these country folks have as many (if not more) skanky secrets than their T-town equivalents, and Kenny is near the top of that list. Boy, does he have some doozies hidden under that ten-gallon hat.

Dear Ted:
What is with your Sarah Palin fascination? She's a regular citizen with a Facebook in Alaska. She's not a politician anymore, so she doesn't have any power to make or break this country. Why don't you pay as much attention to the dumbasses in Washington, D.C. who actually do have power and are using it to destroy this country? Women always get destroyed when they get up the totem poll too high. Why don't the men get lambasted like the women do? What did Palin actually do to get this kind of hatred? She had the nerve to run for V.P. and lost. She isn't doing anything different than the male politicians are doing, but she's getting it 100 times worse. I watched Hilary Clinton go through this same kind of fire branding. As a woman, I'm truly disturbed.

Dear Politically Incorrect:
First, E, I'm all about women in politics, let's make that clear. I just want the right women in running out country, just like I want the right men serving our country. Now, S.P. is not the right woman, at least not as far as I'm concerned. And you say she is just "a regular citizen," but she definitely has a lot more power and opportunities than a regular Jane Doe. You can't deny that.

Dear Ted:
My questions is about Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick's relationship. It doesn't seem like a happy marriage. I never would have even thought of those two together. When she was on Watch What Happens recently talked about marriage it was like she didn't know what to say. Is there trouble in paradise? Are they just staying together for the kids? (Why more kids if the marriage isn't happy?) What happened between them? On account that I have major allergies I cannot have many pets. However my sister does have two rescued dogs, cat and one lovable doggy from a friend.

Dear Happily Never After?
Not quite, V. Sure, SJP and her hubby have their fair share of problems—what couple, especially in Hollywood, doesn't though?—but they're happy together, flaws and all, so don't worry too much about this twosome. Tell your sister smooches to her rescue pets!

Dear Ted:
With the stripper past, the first person that came to mind was Ellen DeGeneres-loving Channing Tatum being Dougy Dry-Hump. Any truth to that thought or too obvious?

Dear Stripped Tease:
Nice try, but we love Channing. Dougy on the other hand is a total douche. Dougy wasn't a stripper himself, he just love, love, loves them!

Dear Ted:
Will you reveal which of the four Hobbits have been a Blind Vice?

Dear Short Stuff:
Maybe, which little guy do you think has a Vicey secret?

Dear Ted:
What keeps those awful Kardashian girls on TV? I tried to watch the Miami one, and after five minutes I had to change the station. They are so full or themselves—not to mention dumb!

Dear Way ME!an:
Have to disagree, Deb. Sure, the ladies love looking good and don't mind a bit of fame, but they're also way tight with their fam and actually do a fair share of work. And stupid? Definitely not, D. They're laughing all the way to the bank.

Dear Ted:
Do you think Nevis Divine will ever find his way or is he just a little boy lost in the middle?

Dear Poor Little Nev:
You're going to make my cynical heart break. Nev is doing just fine these days. Still conflicted about his love life, of course, but otherwise he's shaping up. For now.


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