Tom Cruise, Top Gun

Paramount Pictures

We want to like Tom Cruise the actor, promise, but we totally think he's picking all the wrong parts. For the love of Nicole Kidman, don't even get us started on that Les Grossman crap. Are you serious, Tom?

We're sure the A-lister can succeed again if he plays his age, instead of signing on to every action movie he's offered. And since H'wood seems to have run out of original ideas, it's only a matter of time until some studio reboots Cruise's mega-hit Top Gun.

So here's our advice for Tom:

Take on the role Tom Skerritt made famous: Viper.

Rumors are buzzing that Tom is already involved in the next installment, though a source close to Cruise says, "This isn't true at this point...The door is open, but there are no active plans in the works."

But let's be honest, it's bound to happen. And because we had such a blast picking the gals for our Sex and the City prequel, we thought we'd take the opportunity to fill the cockpits of the rumored remake with some high-flying hunks.

Tom Cruise, Ryan Gosling

Ryan Gosling as Maverick.

Maverick is the all-American boy with an edge. He's confident and a helluva charmer (completely drool-worthy too, lest we forget). Perfect for Ryan, who can tackle the romance, drama and action with his grade-A acting chops. Plus, we wouldn't mind seeing his über-buff biceps in some sleeveless shirts.  

Val Kilmer, Sam Worthington

Paramount Pictures, Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

Sam Worthington as Iceman.

Iceman is Maverick's competition, a real tough guy who's positive he's the best of the best and isn't about to let Maverick take his spot as top gun. We have a hunch Sam could play the cocky asshole role well. Plus, Ice needs to be someone equally sexy to rival Gosling for screen time.

Anthony Edwards, Seth Rogen

Paramount Pictures ; Michael Buckner/Getty Images

Seth Rogen as Goose.

Everyone loves Goose, right? He's Mav's BFF and one of the best comedic sidekicks to ever yuck it up on the big screen. Perfect for funnyguy Seth, who can mix punch lines and touching moments. Plus (spoiler alert): We've never seen Rogen bite it in a movie...might be good for his resume.

Kelly McGillis, Zoe Saldana

Jason Merritt/Getty Images; Paramount Pictures

Zoe Saldana as Charlie.

Charlie is basically the perfect girl: completely gorgeous, cool-headed and absolutely brilliant to boot. Don't you think those qualities fit Zoe like a glove? We do, and we are très positive that Z.S. would have no problem holding her own against Gosling onscreen. She's a badass chick, after all.

Hope you're paying attention, Tom, because we're more than confident this lineup could be a box-office smash—coached to perfection by the original, of course, in the role of mentor. If we've learned one thing from T-town, there's nothing more pathetic than an established actor clinging to the roles of his youth and not letting his choices mature as he does. We think you're better than that, T.

So what do you think of our cast? Do our Navy officers make you weak in the knees, or do you have other studs that you'd like to see join the mile-high club? Let's hear 'em in the comments!

Love Ted? Follow @theawfultruth on Twitter.


Photos: Movies From the Future!

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