Rachel Bilson

Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images; Michael Williams/startraksphoto.com

Dear Ted:
I was wondering about Rachel Bilson. It appears she and Hayden Christensen aren't as happy as it seems. Is there any hope for a Rachel-Adam Brody reunion? Love them together!

Dear TV Romance:
Sorry, babe, but I wouldn't count on it. Things are much more complicated when it comes to the love life of Ms Bilson. But hey, at least you've always got your O.C. DVDs, right? Weren't Seth and Summer just the cutest?

Dear Ted:
Is there any main Twilight castmember aside from Peter Facinelli who hasn't been involved in one of your Blind Vices?

Dear All-Inclusive:
Sure, Peter's got a few costars to chat with about living the Vice-free lifestyle. Maybe two max.

Dear Ted:
Is Buddy Rib-Toast Chris Pine? It makes so much sense if it is. I won't tell, I promise.
—Just Curious

Dear Logical:
I trust you, doll, but hate to tell you, Chris isn't our smashed star running around in his B-day suit. Good guess though—both Chris and Buddy love their action flicks. Think slightly less pretty.

Dear Ted:
Were Reese and Jake friends before they began dating? I wouldn't think they'd run in the same circles. Also, how long has she known her current boyfriend? Forgive me for being greedy but do you know if Reese and Rob are getting along on the set?

Dear Interrogation:
Yes, they were pals. H'wood is a small town; you'd be surprised who's friends with who. Can't give you an exact time line on Reese and her new beau, but things heated up fairly quickly 'cause he's absolutely perfect for her. And yes, no problems on set. Whew, that was a lot of work.

Dear Ted:
When there are B.V.s from the past (like Robert Downey Jr. or Cameron Diaz), why don't you say who they are, especially if they have changed their ways. Is it legal issues, or just good ol' fun?

Dear Blind but Not Forgotten:
Couple of reasons. Legal, of course. Plus, what if they reverted to their old ways and I had to dust off their Vice for an impromptu return? In the meantime, if they've cleaned up their acts, why drudge up the past?

Dear Ted:
With long ongoing Blind Vices like Toothy Tile how do you keep managing to get the story? If it were me you were writing about, I'd find out the source and shut them up fast.

Dear Plug the Leak:
These stars work with so many people, it's nearly impossible to peg exactly who's got loose lips. Plus, Toothy loves the attention—just as long as he can pull back into his closet when he wants.

Dear Ted:
Is Shafterella Shoshstein Demi Lovato?

Dear No, No, No:
Demi is not even close to as evil as Shafty. But maybe she should take some pointers? It definitely helped S.S. become a star.

Dear Ted:
The Jonas Brothers seem like such sweet, humble guys. Were they really just raised that well? Can that still happen in Hollywood?

Dear Family Values:
Or maybe they're just better at hiding their naughty secrets. Ever thought of that?

Dear Ted:
Is Terry Tush-Trade only hanging out with her beard, or is she simultaneously seeing someone else on the side?

Dear Terry Wary:
Sexually swingin' T3's gotta lotta ridin' professionally right now—it's her main thing. For the moment...

Dear Ted:
Now that I've digested the series finale of Lost, (which I loved), it occurred to me to wonder if any of the main Losties have been Blind Vices?

Dear Island Vice:
Oh yeah, Lor, but probably not who you think.

Dear Ted:
Seriously, who is doing Rob's makeup? In Twilight he looked awesome, a couple of scenes in particular still take my breath away. But in New Moon, and unfortunately now, Eclipse (from what I've seen), his eyes are too fake-looking. He looks pasty not "luminescent" and in general, older and not as handsome. Can't they afford the best makeup artist at this point?

Dear Ick:
Totally agree with you. And it's not just R.Pattz (poor death-warmed-over Billy Burke!). Summit's got the cash to get the best in the Biz, but they aren't parting with that dough if they don't have to. Greedy, greedy.

Dear Ted:
I like Sarah Palin a hell of a lot more than Obama. And the public mugging Sarah Palin received while running for VP was disgusting! To accuse Fox of being in Palin's pocket is far less worse than Obama controlling ABC, NBC, CBS and CNN! Her boobs have not been done, either. There's no gossip there!

Dear Sarah Palin:
Hey babe, I like the new boobs. Calm down.

Dear Ted:
Jennifer Aniston
and...Jason Sudeikis? That's so random. I don't mind it and maybe this guy is good for her because he is not tabloid material. But still, I can't help but think WTF! What do you think?

Dear Funny Guy:
Not too unexpected, really. Jen did the pretty-boy A-lister and we all know how that ended. She's a gal who can definitely respect a good sense of humor. And Jason's got that...even if SNL hasn't been funny since the ‘90s.

Dear Ted:
Is there anything you can say to these crazy Nonsten posts that repeatedly say Robert Pattinson is a manwhore? I'm sure he has the ability to flirt since he has such natural charm, but that doesn't mean he sleeps with everyone he speaks to.

Dear Skank Patrol:
He's definitely not knocking boots with Reese, if that helps your argument.

Dear Ted:
is so beautiful and talented, and she seems pretty down-to-earth considering the success she has had over the years. I was wondering if the Latina songbird has ever been the subject of Blind Vice?

Dear Out of Tune:
Nope. But ain't she great?

Dear Ted:
I miss a good old fashioned hairy chest on a chiseled man. When was it decided that every sculpted man on TV had to be hairless? I just was rewatching The Vampire Diaries and noticed Ian Somerhalder had muscular, hairy arms in one scene. But cut to the beautiful chest shots...nothing! And I think it's universal on TV nowadays. Personally, I associate masculinity and testosterone with a hairy chest.
—Leave the Hair Trims to the Scalp

Dear Hirsute Hon:
Yeah me, too. It's why I think Stephen Moyer's still one of the hottest True Blood babes around. I'm the only one in the office who thinks this, by the way, but at least Anna Paquin agrees with us.

Dear Ted:
Yes, the paparazzi and gossip columns are out of hand in the United States. Do I really care that some movie actor buys their toilet paper at Sam's Club? Nope. However, for all the bitching that goes on about their privacy or lack thereof, how many celebrities would continue to do what they do for the "love and passion of the craft" if they only got paid a decent salary, say in range with a doctor? If they got unemployment in between movies, but only for 18 months and at 60 percent pay? What if they got no more recognition than one would give to their plumber, butcher, pediatrician or teacher when out in public? Or how about one awards show per year? I'm not too sure that Hollywood would draw them in like flies then. I say to them, quit your bitching, suck it up, spend your money or go do theater.

Dear Goodbye Fame:
Since it took you 2 billion words to say this, I think you like it more than you let on.

Dear Ted:
How long has Shafterella been bearding for closeted gay actors? I mean, she has better things to do, doesn't she?

Dear Um:
Not really.

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