Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen is going from Two and a Half Men to two-and-a-half weeks…behind bars.

E! News has confirmed that the sitcom star will plead no contest to misdemeanor assault stemming from his Christmas Day arrest for attacking long estranged and newly over it wife Brooke Mueller.

Although Chief Deputy District Attorney Arnold Mordkin declined to comment on specifics, the plea would likely result in a 30-day jail sentence.

So where does the two-and-a-half weeks come in?

Well, being the highest-paid sitcom star on TV does have its perks, and a cunning defense lawyer is apparently one of them.

Sheen is unlikely to make waves while in Aspen lockup and his good behavior will bring his sentence down significantly, meanwing he'd only serve about half the time.

Sheen's attorney, Richard Cummins, has not returned calls seeking comment on Sheen's dealings.

The 44-year-old shaven wonder is planning to enter the plea at his hearing on Monday in Aspen on Monday. Before then, he'll need to finish up his court-ordered 36 hours of anger management classes.

Sheen originally faced two misdemeanor charges of criminal mischief and third-degree assault as well as felony menacing. The felony count, which carries a maximum three-year sentence, will now disappear.

Another bonus? Since Two and a Half Men is on hiatus, his jail time won't affect its production schedule. Finally, everything's coming up roses for Chuck Sheen.

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Want to hear what Chelsea Handler thinks of Charlie Sheen's looming jail time? Of course you do.

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