Joe Jonas, Demi Lovato

Dear Ted:
What is the deal with Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato? Is it real? If it is, it's ruining my dream of marrying Joe. You're the only one I trust and I simply must know. I'm dying here. Love you.

Dear Teen Dream:
What, does the AT have you so jaded about fauxmances you can't smell Disney love when it's announced super publicly on a radio station? I see your point. Don't count on it to last too long.

Dear Ted:
Oh, the drama. I hate myself for having to ask, but why did Selena Gomez and Nick Jonas break up? Please tell me it's just because they are both busy and Selena will be out of town for filming and has nothing to do with Miley Cyrus. Nick and Selena seem to be on good terms, so I'm hopeful that 2010 won't be another year of avoidance.

Dear Simey:
You're barking up the wrong gossip tree here, doll, 'cause we heart Nick and Miley together. Selena is just too sweet to nab the youngest of the JoBros. Even though Cyrus is all hot for her BF of the moment Liam, we don't think we've seen the last of Niley.

Dear Ted:
I wanted to ask you something about your article on Lady Gaga shedding pounds. What gives you the right to sit up here and talk about someone losing so much weight that the person is in danger? She is normal! Everyone needs to stop treating her and every other unique person like dirt! I'm sick of it!
The Rock Star

Dear Crossed the Thin Line:
Well, almost 70 percent of readers seem to agree the babe's looking a little skeletal. I'm not trying to take away from her talent. Love her because she's unique. So then why does she have to be a rail like every other girl in Hollywood? People gave Kate Bosworth and Mary Kate Olsen hell for being too skinny, what is Gaga untouchable just because she's a cool and different chick.

Dear Ted:
Does Robert Pattinson have his own Blind Vice—or just a role in someone else's?

Dear Hard to Believe:
I think his falls into both categories.

Dear Ted:
I was watching the Jimmy Kimmel Live special after the Oscars, which he had Robert Downey Jr.. on, and I noticed something about RDJ. I suspect he is a B.V. superstar, perhaps he may even be Nevis Divine, or Toothy Tile. Am I close?

Dear Sherlock Holmes:
RDJ is a Vicer, but you're off on his moniker. Was a while ago, though.

Dear Ted:
How's it going? I would just like to throw in my two cents about Robsten. One of your recent BBs had a comment from someone basically saying that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were pretty much doomed simply because of their ages. I'd like to say that I know many couples that have been together since high school or college that are still going strong ten years later. I don't think age has much to do with maturity and sometimes love just comes in and grabs you pretty early on in your life!

Dear Nothin' But a Number:
If Rob and Kristen were attached at the hip then I'd say their age would be a huge problem. People who settle down too early and don't live it up when they're young usually do have problems later on. But, Robsten totally can do their thing apart, too. That's why I think their separate work schedules can be a saving grace.

Dear Ted:
The National Enquirer has, what for them, is a fairly un-dramatic article about Jeremy Renner's sexuality. I'd already seen something about it in a European blog, but am curious—when we read that he's exchanging digits with Jessica Simpson, or dating Charlize Theron, who's putting that out there? His publicist or just random sightings of him talking to women?

Dear Love Machine:
JR's no exception, everyone knows if you're a leading stud or studette on the rise it's uber important to have an equal on your arm. That's true, gay, straight, or bisexual.

Dear Ted:
There is an article from NOW magazine saying Rob and Kristen are fighting as he is treating her as a friend with benefits and she wants more commitment from him. With his not showing up for her big day, this does smell of neglect. What do you think, Ted?
Your fan Sin

Dear Know Your Source:
I think you answered that all for yourself in your, smart stuff.

Dear Ted:
Your a level-headed guy and can usually see both sides of a story. With the opening of Remember Me this weekend, it looks critics seemed to be split. But the ones that were negative were so nasty, is that just because they hate Robert Pattinson and his voracious fans? I thought the ensemble cast and crew did and amazing job on this movie, and Pattinson's performance was astounding, not a sign of Edward Cullen or Cedric Diggory anywhere, he really made a believable character out of Tyler Hawkins.

Dear Split:
I totally thought the opposite. I think critics were more scared of bashing an R.Pattz movie for fear of his fans if anything. RM wasn't my favorite movie, no. I don't think it had anything to do with the acting—I thought Ruby Jerins was the best (RP's little sis). And I thought Pattinson and Pierce Brosnan were great, too. I just think the movie as a whole was a little blah.

Dear Ted:
I have been impatiently waiting for you to launch one of your endless hate-crusades on Sean Penn. There are many women you do this to: Kidman, Garner, Jolie, to name a few. He personally assaults photographers, is majorly rude to reporters and others, is a slutskankwhorehomewreckercheater. You say you're not a misogynist and call males and females out equally, well, no, you don't. You should really pay attention to some of the complaints you get about this, and realize that you are not seen as being equal at all. And you can't just wash your hands of the comment section, either. It's part of your column and it reflects on you.

Dear Nice Try:
I've made much fun of Will Smith for talking way too much about his sex life, Tom Cruise for making crappy movie choices, Arnold Schwarzenegger for being an intolerant creep-a-zoid, Brad Pitt for agreeing to become a gray-haired full-time nanny, Barack Obama for absolutely hanging out his gay constituencies to dry, and that's just off the top of my head. I'd be happy to go on if it really pisses you off that much.

Dear Ted:
On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the most fake of all fakes) how fake is the Demi/Joe Jonas relationship? My ick meter is off the scale. Love to the furballs!

Dear Disney Duds:

Dear Ted:
OK, so you never post my questions, but here I go again. What's going on with Kristen and Taylor Lautner? First the Oscars and then getting cozy at the after party. Then he shows up at her premiere and she said how awesome he is in Eclipse. She never talks about Rob like she does Taylor. Are they a couple? She seems more comfortable with Taylor lately. What's happening? Thanks

Dear Falling For the Plan:
I will bet my life on the fact they are nothing more than friends and costars. Just because Eclipse is the third Twilight movie out, that doesn't mean their PR plan has gone away. Everyone so prefers Rob over Taylor (or Edward of Jacob) that Summit still needs to push Tay-Tay to win some fans over. But if you ask me, it's backfiring.


Hear more of Ted's take on Hollywood in the Bitch-Back section

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