It's hard being Jessica Simpson. Not just because every ounce she gains is subject to media scrutiny, or because she seems to have honed her ability to choose anatomically racist boyfriends, or even because the world is still not entirely convinced that she knows the difference between chicken and tuna.
No, it's hard being Jessica Simpson because she apparently blames herself for all of the above.
So let's jump right in—John Mayer. Douche. Discuss: