Jensen Ackles, Danneel Harris

Photo by Noel Vasquez/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
Did you ask your new BFF Danneel what her fiancé, Jensen Ackles, who is so protective of his private life, thinks about the fact that his wife-to-be is making a pubic circus out of their wedding and is giving ammo to a gossip columnist who feeds the gay rumors about him?

Dear Ringleader:
Did we watch the same video? The only time D.H. mentioned her wedding was to say that it was going to be in May (and to flash that amazing rock Jensen gave her). Cut the babe some slack. I'd hardly say that's a circus show...or are you calling me Bozo?

Dear Ted
What do you have to say about the recent rumors about Kristen Stewart hooking up with Orlando Bloom at Sundance. I have tried ignoring these rumors but it is now all over the net. As you have been insisting she and Rob are still together, please tell us what is going on!

Dear Sundance Secrets:
This one again? Not a long shot. Even if Kristen wanted to get flirty with Orly, she'd had to have to ditch Sundance bestie Dakota Fanning, which practically never happened.

Dear Ted:
I realize he may be just a run-of-the-mill d-bag, but is anyone else concerned that John Mayer's mouth diarrhea could be a sign of something more serious? Bipolar disorder? Drugs? Is anyone planning an intervention?

Dear Dr. Curious:
I wouldn't diagnose Mayer with anything more serious than a case of douchebagitis, but that's not to say someone shouldn't intervene and delete his Twitter account and tell him to shut up pronto.

Dear Ted:
I've noticed on a lot of message boards that people seem to be quite sick of Angelina Jolie being called a saint. I hate to say it, but it seems like her charity work is a lot of self promotion. Why wasn't she part of the Clooney telethon? Only a few weeks later we are bombarded with pictures and a CNN interview of just Angelina in Haiti. Seriously, we don't need Angelina Jolie to bring awareness to Haiti. It's rather insulting—does she think we all live under a rock? What are your thoughts? Is she a do-gooder or self promoter?

Dear Just Jolie:
Can't rough the babe up for helping a country so desperately in need, but you're correct, AJ most definitely is not a saint. Not by a long shot!

Dear Ted:
Now that we know your thoughts on Jensen and Danneel, how about a little something on Jared and Genevieve? Apparently you want us to still believe that their marriages are fake (at least I think that's what you want, all the back and forth is kind of confusing). So, how about you give us a little something to go on with these two?

Dear Determined:
Hey—I wanna go to the wedding. What am I supposed to say here?

Dear Ted:
It's been a year since we first heard about the knucklehead Judas Jack-Off. Last year he was in a recently "pumped up" romance. Could you tell us the status of that romance now? I've got this one narrowed down to a short list. Mucho thanks!

Dear Judging Judas:
Behind the scenes, it's not going quite as well as in front.

Dear Ted:
Was reading some old Blind Vices and I have a random question for you. Who do you think is more famous? Jake Gyllenhaal or Alec Baldwin? Just wondering!

Dear Random:
While Jake was being all boresville with Reese, Alec was attacking photographers and calling his daughter a pig on her voicemail. It's a toss-up who's more famous, but Alec is definitely more infamous.

Dear Ted:
OK, so I absolutely love Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Aniston, specifically for how they handled themselves while going through their respective divorces, but I can't understand all the negativity against Nicole. Yes, I get the whole bodyguard thing, but pah-leeze, you are so negative about her looks (whether Botoxed or not) and yet Katie is photographed daily looking like...a, dare I say, mess? She looks hypnotized, bedraggled, and, yes, pretty fug. She walks around like something out of a Stepford Wives movieoh, the irony!

Dear Diva Defender:
I guess by marrying Tom Cruise you're just asking to lose your good looks. Is it worth it?

Dear Ted:
I love Jennifer Aniston and I trust you enough to ask: Do you think she and Gerard Butler could be a couple but they are just try to cover it for awhile? I wouldn't be surprised.

Dear Vice Versa:
Just the opposite, babe. Jen and Gerry aren't anything serious so they're getting all the Mexico-and-margaritas media attention they can while they're still burning hot. And it has nothing to do with that Bounty Hunter movie that's starting to be promoted everywhere.

Dear Ted:
If anyone will know this answer, it's you! Why would Chris Weitz not want to do Breaking Dawn? New Moon is a success and Summit has said that they offered it to him. Why turn down the final book? He has indicated that he liked working with the cast, so what gives?

Dear Director Debacle:
You're right, everyone wanted him back. But one Twilight-directing hooplah was enough for Weitz.

Dear Ted:
This is kind of an odd question, but do you think Camilla Belle and Joe Jonas got up to anything naughty while they were dating? I figured you could shed a little light on the subject, even vaguely.

Dear Disney Dirt:
Between the not-so-squeaky clean JoBro and that sexy little minx Camilla, I'm sure everything wasn't strictly PG. Maybe PG-13...

Dear Ted:
Forgive me if this has already been asked, but are Secretia Ohio and Chester Shorts-Off Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos? Love you.

Dear Regis:
No, but try again. And you're quite warm, Reeg.

Dear Ted:
I admit, I am pretty traditional about wearing my wedding ring on my left hand, but it does seem odd that Katies Holmes is pictured quite often wearing hers on her right hand. Does this seam odd to you? Just checking. Hugs to you and your furry friends!

Dear Attention to Details:
I would say that's one of the least odd things about TomKat.

Dear Ted:
Why can't I see your Facebook page? I have followed you on Twitter (and I still prefer Twitter), but I want to see your Facebook!

Dear Facebook Friend:
Here you go. Or just search "Ted Casablanca"watch out for the Facebook faker-love, though!


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