Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson

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Dear Ted:
I've to come to your defense because you have always fed my Robsten craving and I just simply adore you. It was you who broke the news that Rob and Kristen were a thing even before it got big. You are the one we Awful Truth devotees go to for the truth when rumors come out about them. You've always been up front with us and I'm disappointed to see that people are giving you hell because of your post about Robsten cooling their relationship. People assumed they were dunzo but you never said that. I must say if it wasn't for you we wouldn't know about Robsten and all their little rendezvous, so why are people giving you hell?

Dear Bodyguard:
I can't control what the stars—or their fans—do, I can just gossip about it afterwards, sometimes before. Things would be a way different, and even sexier, if I controlled Hollywood.

Dear Ted:
Can I make a request? I know that you cover what is popular and what people ask to read about, so I accept that there is going to be a lot of Twilight, Brad-Angelina-Jen, and, of course, Jared and Jensen. And don't get me wrong, I love the blurbs, but give us some more meaty gossip!

Dear Carnivore:
If you're not finding the goss meaty enough then you apparently missed our Valentines sham B.V. about poor Mrs. Couture last week. That's meaty dish served, well, not exactly rare in Hollywood.

Dear Ted:
Disney-drama is so addictive. So what's the deal with Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez? Are Nick and Selena the real deal, or are they getting something extra out of it?

Dear Mouseketeer:
Demi and Selena are both sweet, hard-working gals who don't feel the need to skank it up for media attention (unlike another Disney diva we all know). As for Nick J.? Selena's just a rebound, unfortunately. She's got nuthin on Niley, doll-face. We (Nick, Miley, and The AT) all know that!

Dear Ted:
Is Matt Bomer Toothy Tile? He's so sinful, I would gladly go to Hell.

Dear White Collared:
While I agree the TV stud is super deelish, he's not tasty enough to be the legendary Tile. Nice guess though.

Dear Ted:
You sneaky, sneaky bitch! When I saw Danneel sitting on your couch, I almost barfed. But then you started the show! Did she have any idea that you were trying to throw her under the bus throughout the entire time? I loved it. With all the "All for the photo ops," "Danneel its not happening," "I'll give it a year" comments...Sneaky Ted never fails! I loved every underlying, backhanded, snarky remark! And I hope she invites you to the wedding! Tensions will be flying high!

Dear Harris-Hater:
I meant what I said. I was super impressed by the red-head bombshell...she's so much smarter than people give her credit for.

Dear Ted:
Regarding Breaking Dawn being turned into two films, it can either be really successful or disastrous. I understand Summit wanting to milk Twilight until it's dry, but I think one Breaking Dawn movie is enough. But now two movies? Poor cow! I am a die hard Twilight fanI was there when it began and followed the whole Robsten drama and still watched New Moon a second time even though I didn't enjoy it the first timebut, to be honest, I don't think Breaking Dawn has enough meat to be split into two films and I don't think Melissa Rosenburg can write two great scripts. Who knows? Maybe she'll pull a Dexter on us, but I highly doubt it. One film is enough. Let Twilight go down in flames of glory not in a flame of mediocrity. Let's leave that to Harry Potter.

Dear Breaking Twilight:
As long as Summit knows how much money they could make off a double-debut (and we're talking a lot of dough), they won't be worried about releasing less-than-Oscar-worthy movies (we all saw New Moon, didn't we?).

Dear Ted:
So, what do you think of Perez Hilton's claim in an interview for a radio show that John Mayer is gay? Can't say I'd be surprised. OK, I'd be surprised if it weren't true. But Hilton isn't exactly the most...trustworthy of sources. Hard to put stock in someone who regularly "borrows" stories from other reporters' hard work (cough, cough, you) without recognition of where the info came from. Has one of your long-time Blind Vices finally come out?

Dear Zipped Lips:
Trust me, babe, I keep all my Blind Vices super secret—as in, Toothy Tile's baby-style secret. As for the Perez poop? John unleashes his dirty sex on girls, I know that much.

Dear Ted:
I've always loved Ewan McGregor and thought he was such a solid family man. What's the Awful Truth about him strolling with Melanie Laurent in Paris?

Dear Suspicious Sighting:
The duo's Paris stroll—hand in hand, no less—was friendly, we're told. If Ewan was going to leave his wife for his costar Brad and Angie style, do you think he would be so careless about it? Remember, B&A wouldn't even stand next to each other when they were secretly getting it on behind closed doors.

Dear Ted:
What on Earth is wrong with John Mayer? No, I'm not talking about his suspected stinky proclivities, but his constant need to produce verbal scat. Granted, he's always been an indiscreet butthead, but he seems to have gone off the deep end recently. Is there something more to this than meets the eye? Figured you'd have the straight poop on this.

Dear More On Mayer:
If JM didn't like all the media attention he got (look at how much everyone is talking about him) he would shut the ef up. It's not rocket science (albeit the guy lacks a lot of smarts) to know that when you talk about your sex life with Jessica Simpson or use racial slurs it's going to get lots of attention. Then he goes and cries about how he's sorry on stage? It's all staged, babe. And we're all playing along.

Dear Ted:
I think this is a fair question: Why would Rob/Kristen let other people make decisions about their life away from work? Are they not mature enough to keep their work and relationship separate? Do they need management or corporate heads to parent them? I was hoping they wouldn't need that kind of supervision.

Dear PR Problem:
Think you've got it a tad twisted. They're not letting other people make their decisions for 'em. But the reason why Robsten pays their handlers big bucks is for their business savvy advice.

Dear Ted:
I was wondering now that Jake Gyllenhaal and Michelle Williams are both single, is there a chance they will hook up in the future? He's also the godfather of her daughter Matilda.

Dear HA!:
Don't count on it.

Dear Ted:
Who would you say has the best male/female "friends' with-no-benefits relationship"? May I suggest Jensen and Danneel?

Dear Strictly Platonic:
Sorry I'm biased—I don't think those relationships really exist (unless one is super ugly and one's not).

Dear Ted:
Have you seen the new Eclipse pictures? Rob and Kristen look so cute together! Love ya!

Dear Duh:
If we know anything by know it's that R.Pattz and K.Stew have got the tortured romance look down perfectly.

Dear Ted:
Is it just me or does Rob look a little depressed lately? He was pictured with some fans last week and interviewed for Remember Me, but he just doesn't look like the Rob who's always happy...or, I should say, happy with Kristen. I know careers are a priority for them right now but love shouldn't be denied either. They need to realize that with all the recent tragedies in Hollywood and around the world lately, they should appreciate that what they have is real, regardless of if they are in close proximity of each other or not.

Dear Worry Wart:
We all know press tours aren't Robby's favorite thing, and he's probably just stressed out with Remember Me coming out soon. This movie will be a big factor in R.P.'s post-Twilight career.

Dear Ted:
Figuring out who Nelly Fang is seems to be an impossible mission. Could he be Tom Cruise?

Dear Cruising For Vamps:
Nice guess, but still not the right guy. Think mucho sexier.


For more bitchin' dish check out the Bitch-Back section.

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