Kristen Doute spoke out about her Vanderpump Rules firing in her first interview since the termination on Wednesday's episode of the Hollywood Raw podcast with Dax Holt and Adam Glyn.
During the chat, the former Bravolebrity claimed she learned about the firing after receiving a call from her lawyer, who "dropped the note" saying she was "no longer going to be on the show." E! has reached out to Bravo regarding these claims.
"I never got to speak to anyone, which is really hard because I would have liked to have a conversation," she said. "In turn, I really wished that they would have talked about this publicly."
Doute then admitted that the weeks that followed were "really emotional."
"I wasn't doing that well," she said. "I think I was just really all over the place. I'm not used to being silenced, and it was a lot to take in that people had a certain perception of me that I didn't hold myself. And sprinkled in there was, like, drinking and crying, to begin with, you know, if I'm going to be super honest about it."
However, the 37-year-old suggested she tried to use this time to reflect by having conversations, consulting resources, watching TED Talks and trying to stay off of social media.
"And then shortly thereafter, I just started listening because I was having conversations with a lot of my friends—and specifically, you know, to be honest, my Black friends—and they told me to shut up and listen," she continued. "So, that's exactly what I did."
As viewers will recall, Bravo announced in June that Doute, Stassi Schroeder, Max Boyens and Brett Caprioni would not be returning to Vanderpump Rules. The news came days after Faith Stowers, who also appeared on the show, spoke out about being the only Black person on the program. Stowers had detailed her experience in which Doute and Schroeder called the police on her.
According to Reality Tea, Schroeder talked about the call during an April 2018 interview of The Bitch Bible podcast. The episode has since been taken down. The outlet also reported that Doute tweeted a link to an article about the unidentified woman.
"Hey tweeties, doesn't this ex #pumprules thief look familiar?" Doute reportedly wrote in the since-deleted tweet, later adding, "Someone put her on MTV & gave her a platform for press. I didn't wanna go there but I'm going there."
Doute didn't go into detail about the call during the podcast interview.
"I could literally sit here and tell you how moment by moment that it wasn't that I called the police on her, or called 911, or gave her information, but I actually called a tip line and left my name and number in which no one ever even called me back and nothing even happened," she told the hosts. "But then it's like, what does it even matter?"
When asked about the mistakes she's made throughout this whole experience, Doute said she tends to "jump the gun really quickly."
"I've definitely been known, like, in the past to be very reactive rather than responsive. It was definitely none of my business to take anything to social media to, like, essentially send a mob out, you know, to this person. Especially, to be honest, especially because she's Black, you know what I mean?" she said. "Regardless, it was really just not my place to go there."
When asked about Schroeder, Doute said the two have "been in contact a lot more" lately.
"I'm sorry that, you know it's all happening at this time, but I'm so happy for her and Beau [Clark]. She's pregnant, it's crazy! She's pregnant," she said. "She's been my best friend for 10 years. So yeah, she's pregnant with her little baby girl, and I'm just trying to be there to support her. And she's been doing the same for me....I've seen her a couple of times; I think everyone knows that. I was grateful that she kind of let me in on the news earlier, and I just want to try to keep her calm and keep her happy and keep the baby healthy and happy."
As for her future plans, Doute said she's taking things "day by day."
"Like I said earlier, like, there are good days and bad days," she continued. "Some days I wake up crying and have to, like, force myself out of bed and be like, 'This isn't the end of your world because you're dropped from a show or things were taken away from you.' Like, it was a consequence to an action and that's that. So, I'm just trying to...learn more, do better, be better."
She also said she wants to "right the wrongs" and "make things better." For instance, she said she's been making donations and trying to drive change through her clothing company James Mae.
"I feel like that's the best way for me to sort of channel and show the work because we've been working with different companies and different charities, specifically Black women's fashion, like fashion entrepreneurs and things like that, and donating to them, and creating, like, a protest collection with a Black graphic designer, and then, you know, giving the proceeds to that. So, it's like all of those things on top of listening and learning, but donating and taking action," she said. "At the end of the day, you guys, like, I'm not a f--king saint. I'm just doing the best that I can. I'm human, and I make mistakes all the time and I'm just trying to do something every day that is making this a little bit better for everyone."
When asked about the biggest lesson she's learned, Doute said she discovered she has "so much to learn."
"I think that I thought that I understood racism, but now I'm really learning about, like, unconscious bias, learning about anti-racism, learning about how we can do things locally to really truly make changes and, you know, putting work into your community locally to make those changes I think is so important for everyone to do," she said. "So, those are just some of the things I started to learn about and using the power of my voice and again really just f--king listening and talking to all my Black friends, and asking their opinions, and going to protests, and kneeling, and watching TED Talks, and thank God for social media, when I happened to jump back on it when I'm not freaking out, and all the resources that people are sharing I think are so so important."
She then said she doesn't "think that a lot of people," including herself, "realized there were those resources out there to help" drive change.
"It's very easy to say, 'Put in the work' and then go, 'I want to put in the work, but what does the work look like? What do I do?'" she said. "Those resources are available to you. You just have to put in the time to read, listen, and learn."
Doute then added, "I would be lying if I said, like, it wasn't hard to lose my job and essentially sort of lose everything that I'd worked for. I would be totally lying and bulls--tting you guys if I just said: 'Oh no, I know I'm bigger than that and blah blah blah.' It was really f--ing hard, but again, like, the world is bigger than I am. I can do better; I can be better; I can gain the respect of people back by showing, by action."
To listen to the full interview, check out Hollywood Raw podcast with Dax Holt and Adam Glyn.
(E! and Bravo are both part of the NBCUniveresal family).