Chris Soules

Adam Larkey/Freeform

Chris Soules might not ever fully come to terms with his involvement in a car crash that killed a man. 

More than two years after The Bachelor star was arrested for leaving the scene of an accident in Iowa, Soules says it's still just as difficult to continue on with his daily life. In a sneak peek from the reality TV personality's latest interview on The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast, Soules transports himself back to the immediate aftermath of the deathly incident. 

"It's hard to actually paint a true picture," Soules recalls, telling co-hosts Ben Higginsand Ashley Iaconetti that he often struggled to get out of bed. 

"You just feel like there's no reason to be around. Your stuck in limbo with constant legal interactions, the thoughts of the accident that never go away. You have everything hanging over your head," he adds.

In April 2017, Soules was behind the wheel of a pickup truck that rear-ended 66-year-old Kenneth Mosher's tractor trailer. Mosher died as a result from his injuries. 

Soules ultimately plead guilty to the charges against him and was sentenced to two years probation. The 38-year-old and his parents also reached a $2.5 million settlement deal with the victim's family. 

The ordeal impacted Chris' entire existence, as he explains in the podcast interview, "It felt like a million pounds on my shoulders... not being able to focus on anything and really not feeling like you have any motivation to be anything or do anything."

"It's constant pain in your heart and in your head," he shares.

The Dancing With the Stars alum also admits to "not being a decent person" as the case went on, saying he was "angry at myself" and felt like he "let everyone in my life down." 

"It caused a lot of pain for a lot of people," Soules adds. 

Listen for more on Chris' experience when the newest episode of The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast drops. 

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