Hulk Hogan, Brooke Hogan

Mike/FAME Pictures

Does Miley Cyrus smoke?
—Domenik, Tolleson, Ariz.

The B!tch Replies: Who knows? Really. For every high-quality query I get requesting my five-star investigative services, I get roughly three dozen bush-league questions about who's still together, who smokes and who's pregnant or gay or what have you. Exhibit A is below, in one of my patent-pending Lightning Rounds.

I heard on the radio that JC Chasez is rumored to be gay with that new hot actor from Gossip Girl, Chace Crawford. Is any word if this true?
—Jessie, Montgomery, N.Y.

Chasez has denied the rumor and calls it "annoying." Sure, Chasez was spotted recently partying in a poolside cabana with Crawford. But can't two beautifully coifed young men enjoy a li'l get-together without the gay rumors starting? Yeesh!

Has Angelina confirmed her pregnancy yet? All the bloggers are claiming she's preggers with twins, but I've yet to read anything to prove the obvious.
—Sarah, Bellevue, Ohio

Not yet. Officially, Jolie is merely bulging with the spirit of charity.

Hey you, I love Miley! She rox my sox off!
—Selena, Santa Paula, Calif.

Kthnxbye! And stay cool this summer!!!

How come Nicole Kidman shows no signs of being pregnant, while Tori Spelling (for example) looks so far along, although announcing she's preggers much later than Kidman? Is she really pregnant?
—Anne, Chicago

Yes, Nicole Kidman is still preggo, and yes, she recently debuted her bump—an unimpressive mass that barely pushes her into size-6 territory.

What is Bai Ling famous for? I keep seeing her at every Hollywood event, but I have no idea why. Is she an actress? A singer? Is she superfamous in China? Help, Answer B!tch!
—Nana, Mexico City

She's an actress. She also has a superplanetary space wardrobe that falls somewhere between Mischa Barton and Björk on the cray-zay scale.

Did Hulk Hogan really die on Thursday, or is it a lie?
—Crystal, Providence, R.I.

He's alive. No need to hit yourself with a chair.

Miley Cyrus is amazing. I'm a really big fan of hers, and I support her 110 percent. She's an amazing role model. She's just a regular person like you and me. So leave her alone, assholes!
—Abree, Downey, Calif.

Just like you and me. Absolutely. I'll be happy to relay that though to her publicist's publicist.

Got a question about how Hollywood works? ASK ME already!

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