From Helen Mirren to Sienna Miller to Paris to Di mania moments remembered, girls, have we got gal-power dish delites today! Plus, the billionaires are doin’ it (or not) for themselves, oh, what greasiness has Brandon Davis gotten himself into now? Even Britney might shudder…
Helen Mirren

Ash Knotek/

Brava, Helen Mirren! Not only did the British babe sweep the SAG Awards on Sunday, but she was also honored with the Outstanding Performance of the Year award for The Queen at the Santa Barbara Film Fest last weekend. When does this broad have time to hit the loo these days?
Princess Diana

Jerzy Dabrowski/

Now, with wiseasses like moi fretting about when she pees already, plus what with all the awards attention on H.M. as of late, I asked the lady of the hour if she ever had a Princess Di moment with the media herself. Mirren was her resolute, nongirlie self.

"No, I don't have that sort of thing," she pooh-poohed. "I can't imagine what it's like. It must be like this [gesturing to the red carpet chaos] all day, every day. And that would literally drive you crazy."

Helen seems like one of the few lucky hons in the City of Fallen Femmes whose roles get even better as she gets older, despite the ageism most actresses face. I asked if she agreed.

"Oh, definitely!" Hel exclaimed. "I had pretty good roles when I was younger, as well, but I think the roles inevitably get more interesting as you get older because life becomes more interesting."

Don't know that Sharon Stone would agree, but whatev. H.M. continued right on with her up-with-ancient-people propaganda:

"An older person's done more than a younger person," she added. "Now, I know you often have 22-year-olds playing brain surgeons, but in reality, 22-year-olds are not brain surgeons."

Calling Dr. Paris...
Paris Hilton

Lisa O'Connor/

That's it! Thanks, Helen! I can just see it now. Paris Hilton's next role: a poor orphan girl from the Bronx who can't afford college, so she models to put herself through medical school, finally ending up performing brain surgery on the cancer-ridden father who abandoned her as a kid!

Less absurd, by far, was...

William H. Macy

Darby Shaw/

William H. Macy, who showed by the sea to present and sing Mirren's praises to us press peeps. "She's the real deal," he espoused. "Helen really knows how to act, down to the nuts and bolts. She's got an exquisite aesthetic. She's hard-working, funny and nice-looking."

Sounds like someone's got a little crush on the Dame herself. I asked Will if the babe who got dowdy to play Liz II gets sexier with age.

"Absolutely!" he exclaimed, quicker than wife-unit Felicity Huffman might have preferred. "She drops her knickers every other movie."

Oh, behave, Bill! (Besides, that's Paris, not Helen.)

Zooey Deschanel

Lisa O'Connor/

Zooey Deschanel, indie queen, swagging at Sundance. Z.D. scored Zooey (no relation) tees at the Hollywood Life House, including a special-edition "World of Cool" one to fight global warming…how environmentally chic. Zooey also got gratis Ya-Ya cashmere sweaters, which she sported at frigid Sundance the very next day. It's also cold season (we're such wimps here) back in Hell-Ay, where a greasy...
Brandon Davis

Chris Weeks/

Brandon Davis may be in need of a body-hugging bib. B.D. was spotted last Tuesday at Mr. Chow, decked out in a dirty shirt—I know you're shocked, as am I. Spectators noticed Davis kept wipin' his schnoz while he held court at the famed Bev Hills eatery. Now, Davis was seen partyin' it up the night before at Matsuhisa…Maybe he forgot his coat and got a cold? On the svelter side, also at Matsuhisa that night, was...
Travis Barker

Lisa O'Connor/

Travis Barker, former Blink-182 drummer and Paris Hilton conquest, getting cuddly with his estranged beauty queen and heiress-hatin' wife, Shanna Moakler. Are the Barkers back on, or are they just playin' nice for the kids' sake? Brit and Kev, take note!
Sienna Miller

Eamonn McCormack/

Hard to believe current in-demand It girl Sienna Miller was once a pariah in Hollywood. But George Hickenlooper, director of Factory Girl, said she almost lost the lead in his druggie flick before even auditioning.

"Out of all the 200 ingenues who auditioned…Sienna came to the audition late. I was extremely annoyed—I had to catch a plane to New York, and I knew very little about her," Hickenlooper explained. "I was ready to write her off."

Then it happened:

"She came in," said G.H., "and she was so apologetic and completely blindsided me with her charm and authenticity."

But once Miller convinced the director, he, in turn, had to convince the investors. "I met with Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson, just about everybody," Hickenlooper said. "It was difficult, because all my financers were like, 'Sienna who? Get me Kate Hudson! Get me Brittany Murphy!' It became a struggle to finance the picture."

Katie Holmes

James Devaney/

If you remember way back when, Katie Holmes was originally supposed to play Edie, but she dropped out. Think she got a new b-f, or somethin'.

What was his name?

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