The first time I met Joel McHale, I thought he was incredibly rude. I ran into him as I was exiting the ladies' room, and when I greeted him, he said nothing. Just stood there, and...nothing. Then, after what seemed an eternally long awkward beat, he suddenly opened his mouth and began talking, letting an entire mouthful of mouthwash pour down his chin, down his shirt and onto the floor.
It was then that I knew: Joel McHale would be one of my favorite people ever to walk through the doors of E!. Not only does he have good dental hygiene (he was on his way to the men's room to spit out that minty fresh Listerine), he'll do pretty much anything to make someone laugh. Even if it means a carpet-cleaning bill.
If you've seen his show The Soup—E!'s laughfest that celebrates the “best” of television—chances are, Joel's one of your favorite people, too. And I just happen to know (after witnessing him pretty much stalk Alias' Kevin Weisman at a party) that Mr. McHale has impeccable taste in television.
So, I asked Joel to fill in as our guest TV critic today and share his wisdom in all things televisionary. Professor McHale graciously accepted, partly because he loves TV and partly because he thought there was money in it, but mostly because he wants to spread the word that The Soup is celebrating its big 103rd episode tonight at 10 p.m. on E!.
You heard me right. One hundred and three.
We missed 100. We were drunk.
Are you sober now?
I can't make any promises.
Okay. Well, Joel, thanks for joining us anyway. Will you please tell the class, in your own expert opinion, what are the best shows on TV right now?
Ultimate Fighting Championship. Then I'd have to say, in no order, 24, Lost, Extras. And right now, the show that makes me a little, I've got to say, physically aroused is Battlestar Galactica.
Really?
It is the greatest show ever. The most subversive show on television.
I love it, too. Have you worked the word frak into your vernacular?
I have a shirt that says Frak Off. That's how much of a geek I am. And we got to shoot a promo with [Battlestar star] Tricia Helfer that's on The Soup tonight for the 103rd episode.
Frakkin' awesome. What's not so awesome is that I've heard you hate Grey's Anatomy. We need to clear this up. What's up with that?
There was an article in the Seattle Times in which I said, "I hate Grey's Anatomy," and I don't hate it. I don't wish the people dead. I just disliked the [season two] finale. A lot.
What?! It was so good! Denny died. And they wore prom dresses!
Do you want me to go into this right now?
Will you, please?
All right, let me just recap. What's her name, the blonde, who was the belle of the ball at the Emmys, Katherine Heigl, she falls in love with the guy who has a bad heart, right? Okay, he's not going to get the heart because his heart isn't that bad compared to the other guy who is in front of him in line. So, I got an idea, we're gonna kill you, and then you're gonna get the heart. And then the guy in the parking lot carrying the heart is shot. And then the boyfriend dies, she does that awesome hysterical routine...
Hey, now, that was a good scene!
No, it was good. All the acting is good. But then big Mr. Head of the Hospital goes, "Oh, I can't believe you guys did this! You guys are in real trouble! You killed someone!" I'm thinking, awesome! It's now going to be Prison Break, because they all killed someone. But instead, he says something like, "I want you to go home, and I want you to put on your ball gowns and tuxedos and come back here, and we're gonna hold a prom for a sick girl who can't go to her prom, and we'll forget about this." Then the hot girl runs into the prom, and they've got a disco ball and, oh my god, are you kidding me? And people bought that crap. It's a fricking telenovela!
[Laughs.] But you're just bitter because you were originally cast as McDreamy, right?
Yes, but I got a new role in it. I am McNightmare. Wait, no, I think it's O'Nightmare. I'm the new Irish guy now that the vet is gone.
What's your expert take on Desperate Housewives, Professor McHale?
I do like Desperate Housewives. But it just gets to a point where it's very much like Grey's Anatomy and I'm like, Sure, why not have Evil Knievel move in next door! Sure, let's dig up more dead people! They are at a point where they're so concerned about keeping viewers that they make these gigantic promises that they cannot pay off without major character and story shifts. So, things just go unanswered, and then it's what happened to Alias. You just stop caring. They won't have a big finale like Cheers or Seinfeld, they'll just peter out.
What's the best new show this season?
I have to admit I am watching Jericho. Why do I watch it? It's pretty good. I like the premise a lot. Great premise. And the stories are solid, so I get interested. It's just sometimes it gets a little melodramatic. It's a little sappy. But overall, I would recommend it.
What's your TV guilty pleasure?
I was serious about Ultimate Fighting Championship. And I'm not even ashamed to say it because I want free tickets.
Best comedy?
The best comedy show on television is The Alan Partridge Show. Do you know who Alan Partridge is? It's on the BBC and freaking funny. Family Guy, I fricken love that show. Simpsons has lost me a little bit, but I still love it. And of course, Stephen Colbert and The Daily Show.
What's the best show on television tonight?
Well, let's see. The Chelsea Handler Show is on hiatus. Cheaters is on at 2 a.m., so technically, that's tomorrow. JAG was canceled. So, Kristin, what I think you are alluding to is…The Soup's 103rd episode! It airs tonight at 10 p.m. on E!, and it celebrates the greatest in television! We had a big party last night and a lot of celebrities came.
Really? I missed the invite…Um, who was the biggest celebrity there?
Ron Jeremy.
Awesome. And what can we see tonight on The Soup's 103rd?
Clips from my very first show and a very special photograph of Ron Jeremy asleep at our party.
For more funny stuff from Joel and my sit-down interview with him (in which he reveals his sexual past with Hugh Hefner), check out the Vine clip at the top of this item and The Soup #103 channel in the Vine.