Paris and Nicky Hilton, watch out, yet more famous folks show they aren't exactly bowled over by you babes. Plus, a former Friend tries his hand at British comedy, tho there's still nothing funnier than Madonna's accent. And what the supposedly domesticated Nicole Richie excels at these days, you will not believe.

“A little, but it’s so mean-spirited now.”

Jules Asner

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—My old E! News Live colleague Jules Asner, who’s now living the fab life as Missus Steven Soderbergh and writing bitchy books, when I asked if she missed her on-camera duties

Just chatted with Jules, who was wearing only a bra (conversation was on the horn, I’m afraid). The former interviewer to the megafamous, Clooney and Roberts included, is plugging her men-are-merde revenge novel, Whacked, and it’s biting, sexy stuff. But I said, "Go with me here, Jules, pretend you're back in the Biz, and you’re sitting down with Paris Hilton for The Hottie and the Nottie 2. What would you ask?"

Nicky Hilton

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“Oh, s--t,” came Jules’s reply, which, quite honestly, would probably get a terrific response from our Pare-poo, doncha know. “Do you know I once interviewed her sister [Nicky]?” Asner continued. “I asked her a question about her handbag line. She actually had to look to the side to find out if she even had one. I knew more about the woman than she did!”

Jules, darling, you must come back to the den of Ba-ba Walters iniquity. We need you desperately, even if it’s for a friggin’ special!

Robin Williams

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If ya needed a break from the ne’er-do-well sexpot scene (if only for a sec), you most likely headed out to West Hell-Ay for Sunday’s Time for Heroes celeb carnival, sponsored by Disney and the Elizabeth Glazer Pediatric AIDS Foundation. Robin Williams and Blair Underwood battled it out with some fun foam weapons at a Narnia-themed booth. B.U. donned a light-weight white blouse and a stylish plaid hat and was rooted on by his three cute kids. R.W., none of his offspring in sight, wore a dark blue shirt, black pants and black 'n' blue socks. Metaphor, maybe? Since he might still be feeling a little bruised and battered after his recent separation? Doubt it. The comedian was all smiles throughout the sword fight (which he won, better luck next time Blair-babe) as well as through his stint as storyteller. Robbie read aloud a children’s book to a very attentive assembly, stopping at every big word to tell young kids to “Google that when you get home.” Maybe not the best advice to introduce Googling to preschoolers.

Courteney Cox, David Arquette

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Courteney Cox and David Arquette stood at attention at the pixie place, where Mischa Barton made her own fairy wings—as if her outfit couldn’t get more ridiculous (see our In the Closet for all the harrowing details of this darling’s duds). There was a long line full of kids and parents alike hoping to score a photo. Think these two set up weekly game night competitions with John Mayer and Jen? (Our money’s on the Arquettes winning every time).

Lauren Bosworth, Whitney Port, Lauren Conrad

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The Hills hotties—Lauren "Lo" Bosworth, Whitney Port and Lauren Conrad—were shacked up at the Biolage booth, busying themselves with the two things they do best: nothing and posing. Tons of preteen girls lined up to take photos with the trio, seriously disturbing us that so many impressionable youngsters look up to these ladies as role models.

nicole richie

PacificCoastNews.com

In fact, maybe we were just gettin’ bitchier as the day kept gettin' sweatier, but almost none of the celebs were actively involved in their booths. Stunningly, it was Nicole Richie, of all people, who was one of the more hands-on personalities in the place. OK, she showed up 20 minutes late and wore a yellow halter culottes getup and absolutely no body fat (bye-bye, healthy baby weight), making it hard to differentiate her from all the 8-year-olds around. But Nicky, with man accessory Joel Madden, was more than happy to teach all the tots how to play (really) minigolf.

Is that what happens when you live in Glendale?

David Schwimmer

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David Schwimmer, directing the pilot of Little Britain: USA at CBS Studios in the Valley. The hit U.K. sketch show is coming stateside, à la The Office, and the British import was sprinkled onscreen and off with some American blood. Davey S. was all work and no play, taking his job very seriously, despite sketches filled with fat suits and gay innuendoes. D.S. has definitely concentrated more on directing than acting post-Friends, probably a good call for the typecast-as-a-nerd thesp. Maybe Matt LeBlanc should take some film classes at USC or something. We know he’s got the time. Having some fun in front of the camera was...

Sarah Chalke

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Sarah Chalke, playing a thin-spirational woman who lost more than 150 pounds on a Weight Watchers-type program. The Scrubs celeb looked seriously skinny in a red dress, par-tick when paired next to stout Little Britain star and cocreator Matt Lucas. Sar-babe had to scarf down about five doughnuts during the scene, which was filmed three times, poor girl. Gotta be absolutely frightening for an actress to be forced to eat food in H’wood. But hey, at least this time she wasn’t upstaged by Britney. Also appearing avec another accent...

Paul Rudd

Phil Han/ZUMA Press.com

Paul Rudd, as the French prime minister, meeting with an actor playing President Obama (guess we know whom they favor over on the other side of the pond) and other LB castmember and cocreator David Walliams. Paulie’s French accent was awful, but we have a feeling it was meant to be. P.R. kept goofing off between takes, while crew members kept coming up to him for photos with the Clueless cutie. Yeah, he’s been in just about every Judd Apatow flick, but Ruddie’s role in that teen rom-com is our fave, fer sure.

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