Something to Squawk About

Who's gabbing, still, from the Grey's Anatomy gal corral and who the hell isn't? Plus, some ABC peeps are about as pleased with Katherine Heigl's overdrive puss as I am with all of you, darling readers, and your raunchy ranting! Yep, time to check out this week's mischievous mailbag!

At the Women in Film Awards Thursday night, the women of Grey’s Anatomy scored the Lucy Award. And most of them weren’t in the mood to talk. Producer Shonda Rhimes and Chandra Wilson skipped the carpet, and Kate Walsh turned tail after doing a few TV interviews. Luckily, Sara Ramirez, gorgeous in a scarlet Max Mara gown, stopped to chat.

"I honestly wish him the best, from the bottom of my heart," she offered, when I asked for her thoughts on Isaiah Washington's departure. "I really, really do."

As for how the set will be different next season? "I think we’re all just going to be supporting each other. So, I’m just looking forward to that." Merde. Won't be nearly as bitchy to write about, but whatev.

Speaking of gonzo-gal style, not everyone at ABC wants Katherine Heigl, who was busy filming 28 Dresses, to stop speaking her mind to the media about the sitch. "I wish Katherine would stop saying that we don't like it when she speaks out," I overhead one perturbed ABC peep say. "I agree with half the stuff she says. In fact, I called her the day after to tell her so."

Here at the Awful Truth, we're all for free speech. So, without further ado, let's see who's ripping me to shreds this week in the perennially mouthy mailbag!

Dear Ted:
How could you say that you "adore" Paris, then acknowledge that you know she's racist? How can you adore anyone who is racist? Do you adore the homophobic, too?
  Christine
  Denver

Dear Good Questioner:
I still love my homophobic mother, Mariah, the one who expects me, stupidly, to marry a woman. I admire Paris even though I detest her racism, just as I greatly respect Isaiah Washington's talent as an actor, just not his hideous antigay mouth. World ain't black and white, baby.

Dear Ted:
I am no fan of George Bush, but the beer he was drinking was nonalcoholic. As a former party animal and currently sober man, can you tell me if it is even wise to drink the nonalcoholic beverages?
  Tracy
  Williamsburg, Virginia

Dear Boozeburg:
Even if it was nonalcoholic (as the White House insists), near beer still has alcohol in it, small percentage though it may be. Arguably, then, this country is approximately 3 percent closer to drunkenly getting into World War III—that is, if we’re not already there—a chance I’m not exactly crazy about.

Dear Ted:
How dare you diss Sophia Bush? It was only appropriate she focus the conversation on Al Pacino, considering it was his event.
  Jenn
  Philadelphia

Dear Touchy Touché:
I didn’t really diss her, darling, go back and reread what I said. I semi-agree with the gal, actually. But could someone tell me what sort of connection S.B. has to Pacino to even be at the event, anywho?

Dear Ted:
I'm a firm believer in your Bush gossip! The press tried to spin his beer drinking as nonalcoholic, but that's a misnomer, as it can be lightly alcoholic. Keep on telling it on the prez.
  Jeffrey
  Cincinnati

Dear Left-Winged Linguist:
Only a year and a half left...and with enough fake-butt beer in 'em, maybe he’ll get confused and leave early.

Dear Ted:
Is Rubba-Rubba Release Samuel L. Jackson? I think he fits One Bound 'n' Bagged Blind Vice perfectly!
  Anjali
  Houston

Dear Houston Honey:
No, darling, Mr. R. ain't nearly as talented as Mr. Jay—also, he’s much less discreet.

Dear Ted:
Please explain to me why Isaiah Washington cannot use the epithet he did, but you can blithely use "breeders" with evident impunity? Some of your straight readers find that particular phrase just as offensive as you found the one used by I.W. Different rules for different people?
  Victoria
  San Francisco

Dear Ms. Golden Rule:
I have many gay friends with kids whom I call "breeders" as well. Lighten up, already.

Dear Ted:
I know it makes for good copy, but is it even possible to contemplate boycotting coverage of Paris Hilton?
  Rae
  Albuquerque

Dear Gossip'd Out:
My dear, goss is all about which stars are pantyless, doing time or doing each other. And I agree, there are bigger issues worth yakking about, which we do from time to time in this column.

Dear Ted:
I'm sooo sad to hear that The Rock is separated...What is your opinion on that?
  Marcy
  Dallas

Dear Old Hollywood:
Now that the bustup biz has come to light, it suddenly makes sense why he gave such lame sound bites back at the Taurus World Stunt Awards about his wife-unit. Another one bites the dust.

Dear Ted:
Two vices revealed! Not only that, I'm learning a bit more about the rationale behind the "and it ain't" pics at the end of the B.V. So, are you going to reveal where you and Mr. Luckiest Guy in the World are registered, or are we going to be subjected to "and it ain't... Wal-Mart, Target, Kmart"?
  Jennifer
  Houston

Dear Givin' Gal:
Consider me registered here at the Awful Truth, and keep your little tush perched in front of the computer. That’s the perf gift pour moi!

Dear Ted: 
For someone who acts so "demure" and tight-lipped and antipaparazzi on the red carpet, why does Angelina Jolie blab so much personal info in magazine interviews? You must know what her angle is. Her hide-behind-Brad-act at premieres makes me want to puke.
  Erica
  Napa, California

Dear Contradicting Cutie:
Miz Jolie loves to try to control those around her, the press and Bradley-poo alike. Perhaps the once spontaneous Angie only likes to gab to par-tick mags that she has already made clear-cut "rules" with...ahem, People?

Dear Ted:
I have to say I'm a loyal reader of your column and congratulations on your engagement! Has Jake Gyllenhaal ever appeared in a Blind Vice? And can you please with ice cream and a cherry on top give us more clues as to who Fey Ray is? Thanks so much!
  Janele
  Alexandria, Virginia

Dear Hot for Hints:
Yes on Jakey, and Fey Ray has kids. Happy?

Dear Ted:
Is R.R.R. Bono? He's won a ton of awards and has several magazine covers coming out. I adore this column.
  Katharine
  Saint Charles, Missouri

Dear Wrong-o Bono:
Definitely not as gifted as Mr. B., not even close. Nor nearly as good-looking, though some say he once was—I just wasn’t one of them.

Dear Ted:
I love your column—it's a hoot. How on earth do these people get away with such abysmal behavior? Is Rubba Rubba Mel Gibson, by any chance?
  Kate Te Rure
  Pukerua Bay, New Zealand

Dear Rubbin' the Wrong Way:
Much closer than any of the guesses above. In so many ways. Just not Mel, though.

Dear Ted:
Thanks for recognizing Adrian Grenier for his positive way of dealing with his absent father. It is important to note that most of us have had some kind of family issues, and the dysfunctional ways of the Lohans aren't the only ways to address these problems. Now, please tell me, is Fey Ray Travis Barker?
  Paige
  New Jersey

Dear Love of the Chase:
Snaps to Adrian for finding his dad and making his way into fans' hearts in the process! Travis Barker isn’t our boy, by the way.

Dear Ted:
You answered a Blind Vice! Way to go, dude!
  Ann
  Panama City, Florida

Dear Duh:
It has to happen about as often as my mother watched Will & Grace.

Dear Ted:
I know this is so bitchy of me, but seriously, Rumer Willis looks like a space alien. She does not have a good mix of her parents' genes—long face, huge chin, weird tiny nose and too-small eyes—but everyone always says what a looker she is. Are they just being nice?
  Kamela
  Billings, Montana

Dear Beauty Is in the Eye of the Box Office:
If your parents were two of H'wood's most powerful peeps, you would probably be on the receiving end of all those superficial, fake-ass compliments, too. Maybe she'll grow into her looks?