Are power peeps really pissed at Britney Spears for her New Year's Eve nap? I, for one, think they're not, but what I am dyin' to know is what she's doing in the bathroom so often. Hmmm. Could all this femme fuss possibly be for anything more than a compact crunch or a quick change... 
Britney Spears

James Devaney/

Tongues have been waggin' about whether Britney Spears will get her paycheck from her New Year's Eve party at Pure, after she "fell asleep" and left the bash early, pissin' off peeps at the semihipster joint. And, by the by, I'm hearin' the club is beyond thrilled with her and would be much obliged to have her back.

And why wouldn't they be? That little fainting/catnapping/whatever incident got them oodles of press—much more than had our fave grease-tart behaved, n'est-ce pas?

I mean, look at this column, for ince: We're still talkin' about it, and it happened 32 centuries ago! (Of course, I can hear my detractors wailing now that everything in this piece is 32 centuries ago—not true! It's only 31 centuries old! I'm on a two-day advance deadline, doll-cakes. Unlike blogs, which have the privilege of updating as often as they pass gas.)
Britney Spears

Chris Weeks/

As to the Britster, I say let's move on already, shall we? Take this titillating tidbit that just surfaced, only slightly soiled, thanks to Desk Powder Room (my comrades who, like me, frequent myriad establishments with Ms. S., but who have the utter privilege of continuing that messy socialization right on into the little gal's room).

See, peeps who party alongside Brit-Brit in the more private enclaves where stalls are required say that the grease-tart frequents the little girls' room veddy, veddy often.

Whatcha got, Brit? Is all that Taco Bell catchin' up with you, hon-bun, or is it somethin' else?

Desk P.R. insists Ms. S. prefers to kibosh whatever scuttlebutt 'bout the reason she may be visiting the loo so frequently by making sure she changes clothes in there as often as possible.

"She thinks," blabs Desk Powder, "by emerging in different outfits, people will assume that's the reason she keeps going in there."

Hmmm. Brilliant subterfuge there, Brit-love. Now, meanwhile, I must ask, what are you really doing inside that infamous girls' goss arena, B.? Prank-calling K-Fed, perhaps? Booty-calling Justin? Gosh, the possibilities are endless. Any ideas, readers?

Kate Bosworth

Dimitrios Kambouris/

Kate Bosworth, clothes hunting with a hottie. Male, mind you. The semiskeletal star was spotted at Betsey Johnson in San Francisco, shopping for an amigo. "She was lookin' really cute, but pretty pissed," said my chicly dressed onlooker, who opted not to go all gaga on K.B. because of her dour disposition. "I don't know why she was in such a bad mood, considering her really hot shopping companion!" my spy continued. Try crackin' a smile once in awhile, Ms. B.! Life without Orlando in the boudoir can't be that bad, can it? On the opposite public end, physically and emotionally, elsewhere was…

Jennifer Hudson

Jesse Grant/

Jennifer Hudson, makin' a splash during her InWhySee concert at the Hammerstein Ballroom. Jen-babe, dazzling in a sparkly white gown, sang a slew of songs but noticeably omitted her Dreamgirls showstopper "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going." Why that, hon? Anyhow, Ms. H. proved how fan friendly she was by walking right into the dance floor to belt out "Last Dance" among the patrons. That's a hit made huge by the once huge herself (as in star, not KFC, wattage) Donna Summer, for all you folks who still have baby fat on your disco pelvises. Also friendly with the common folk was...

Troy Aikman

Nancy Kaszerman/

Troy Aikman, braving enemy territory. The former Cowboys quarterback was in Philly with the Fox NFL team for the Eagles playoff game and dined at Old Original Bookbinder's on Friday. Troy-boy was casual in a gray polo and khakis and was even approached by some fans—surprise, surprise! Troy and Joe Buck correctly predicted an Eagles victory over the New Yawk Giants, much to the delight of Cristina Gibson, who's far more butch than I. Peeps placing bets elsewhere included...

Shannon Elizabeth

Tama Herrick/

Shannon Elizabeth, tryin' her luck Down Under. The notorious gambling gal (in cards, too) was spotted at Starbucks Port Melbourne, where she's in town for a poker tournament at Crown Casino. Shan-babe was talkin' hold-'em strategy with the dude she was with. S.E. was all smiley and lovely, per boring usual, and she looked really trim in jeans and a top. "Are all starlets that thin?" complained an overly caffeinated Down Under type. Almost all of 'em, baby-poo. Welcome to hideously weight-obsessed Hollywood!

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