When the kind folks at Heroes invited me to guest star on Monday night's episode, I thought it was the coolest thing that had ever happened on planet Earth. So, I repaid them by bitch-slapping one of their stars, gouging him in the eye with a roulette ball and ruining five takes in a row--causing hundreds of extras to work overtime.
Suffice it to say, I'll never work in this town again. But it was so worth it.
Not only is Heroes the best dang show around (after you watch Monday night's episode, I defy you to say otherwise), but as you can see from the latest Vine show on this page (if you are reading this text on the main WWK page, you need click on the title of this column to see it), I had a ridiculously good time with my fellow costars during my 13 hours on set playing the illustrious role of "Roulette Dealer."
When you see my scene, let me tell you, you will be blown away...by my nerve in calling these people "my fellow costars." 'Cause truth be told, I have two itty-bitty wittle lines. Do not blink! (It airs right after a commercial break.)
Still, I did get to be bitchy and slap Hiro's hand--whee!--and, even better, bond with my fellow costars (oh, sue me, I'm calling 'em that) while hanging out on set. We shot this scene the day after the Emmys, so we were all requisitely sleep deprived, loopy and giggly. Masi Oka, Adrian Pasdar, Ali Larter and I laughed, drank (fake) champagne, did the robot (or maybe that was just Masi), discussed how to make love like a porn star and shared intimate secrets about the show.
What's that you say? You'd like to hear those intimate secrets? Do you really think I'm that kind of girl? That I'm that easy? Well...when you see the size of my skirt on Monday's episode, you'll know that to be true. So, here goes...
What I Learned on the Set of Heroes
Adrian Could Have Been Milo Ventimiglia's Dad. "I almost played Milo's father on Gilmore Girls," Adrian told me of his Heroes sibling. "I auditioned, and they told me, 'There's no way you could play his father. You guys look too much like brothers.' And now, here we are." Adrian also told me he and Milo are fast becoming BFF. "We hang out together off camera, and we really get along like wild cards." (By the way, a little trivia tidbit: The official-looking book Adrian's carrying around in this episode is actually Jenna Jameson's How to Make Love Like a Porn Star. A little light reading Adrian's real-life wife, Dixie Chick Natalie Maines, is sure to appreciate.)
Ali Gave Me the Lowdown on Niki's Superpower. This is the number-one question about the show--what can Niki do?--so I had to ask. Here's what Ali told me of her alter ego's alter ego: "The writers are hinting that Niki has a duality in her personality. So, one side of her won't have to conform to society's expectations. Like, she'll rob a bank if she needs money, she'd kill somebody if they got in her way. And her other side has to live by the laws of the land. It's really the moral questioning that we have inside all of us. That little devil on one side, that little angel on the other. They're just taking us to a new level with it." Psst...you'll see a whole new side of Niki in this Monday's ep.
Masi Is Hilarious. Next time you see a roulette dealer, I want you to bow down and kiss his or her feet, no matter how dirty or disgusting the floor. You see, their job requires a special skill set right up there with rocket scientist, brain surgeon and cancer curer. While shooting the casino scene, I couldn't get the ball to go around the roulette wheel more than eight times (which we needed for the shot) without it bouncing out. First, it bounced on the floor. Then, it hit a wall. Then, it flew across the room right at Masi's face. Masi calmly walked over to me, placed one hand on my shoulder and gently whispered, "Don't be nervous. You're doing great. And if you have any performance anxiety, just do what Kevin Dillon does." If you're an Entourage fan, you'll understand why I erupted into a giggle fit--which, of course, ruined the next take.
Monday Night's Episode Kicks Ass: All kidding aside, I'm so not talking about my measly little "guest spot." (Like I said, I have two itty-bitty lines!) This is the episode of Heroes where everything kicks into high gear and you really see what this show is capable of. You might even need to bring a change of shorts to watch it. Says Ali, "This is my favorite [episode] so far. Bryan Fuller [consulting producer on Heroes and cocreator of Wonderfalls] wrote this script, and I think he's just amazing--along with all the writers on the show. It's my first experience in television, and the fact that they are inviting the actors to share our own ideas, it's just really cool. Especially when you see where things are headed."
"Cool," in my opinion, is an understatement for what lies ahead for Heroes. I sincerely hope you'll come along for the ride.
That said, I hope you'll join me on our message boards on Monday night at 9 p.m. ET/6 p.m. PT to "Watch Heroes with Kristin." It's our first installment of this new, live weekly bonding session, called Actually Watch with Kristin. In case you missed the memo, I'm picking a different show each week to watch and chat about with you--so I could use the support (and a strong drink if they show that skirt).