Movin' 'n' Mayhem!

Is TomKat on the Toledo move? How does the couple's new Ohio house stack up to Tom's other fancy-ass cribs? And what kinda mamacita mischief are Denise Richards and Gwen Stefani getting themselves into, I wonder? Plus, why is the Rock copying Paris?

Bored by Tom Cruise? Tough. Even though you all know—as well as Cristina Gibson and our fab new intern, Merritt Rosen—that Tom’s about as exciting as my mother Mariah’s lime Jell-O recipe these days, he’s still, well...Tom Cruise. Which means we’re always going to be hot on the trail of the newly pasty Tommy-boy because, even when he’s where he shouldn’t be (women’s bodies and health, for instance), we all adore T.C. so. 

Well, I do, at least. Guess I shouldn’t speak for C. and M., but whatev.

So, while we Truth-ites will, natch, ever be on the über-weirdo trail of where in the galaxy, exactly, Suri came from (from Tom and Katie, of course, laughs Tom's press rep!), today we're simply doing a tad o' Cruise real estate this 'n' that before we focus on somewhat more decadent Hell-Ay goings-on in the column.

Desk Toledo reports new developments: T.C. and K.H. are selling the original mansion they purchased (before mucho complaints by the nabes, who are now bawling that Cruise’s swell multimillion-dollar purchase price has raised the hood’s home values and hence, taxes, as well). And, according to D.T., TomKat’s now angling—and, perhaps, already paid for—a fancier job in the nearby town of Tremore. Gated community. Also for a couple o’ mil—a little Frenchie château kinda numbers. 

Sorry, I know Ohio manses ain’t exactly the most luxurious around, but we’re not exactly talkin’ Hicksville here, hons. I mean, Tom Cruise just bought a $35 million Hell-Ay spread, not to mention the $10 million-plus Colorado place he’s already got. Should Katie’s place be so low-rent, already? Yes, yes, yes, I know a couple mil in Oh!-Hi!-Oh! can be quite grand, but I'm sure you get my bitchy drift.

Just asking. Because I’m just that way.

Anne Heche, hangin’ at the Dermalogica booth. Lucky magazine’s gifting suite in New Yawk City. The flawless-faced gal chatted up brand reps, scorin’ tons of products in the process. The about-to-be divorcée was “smiling and chatting” with her boy-babe of the moment, Men in Trees costar James Tupper, who only left Anna-Banana’s side after her booth-hoppin’ ways became unbearable. “They made it clear they were a couple and weren’t hiding it,” says a snuggums spy. A man-chomper in another city was...

Denise Richards, hosting a private Mother’s Day event at Lisa Kline Kids last Thursday. The ex-Mrs. Sheen dropped megamoolah on daughters Sam and Lola, who were at the party playin’ with toys, eatin’ cupcakes and drinkin’ Honest Kids fruit drinks. The recently split Richards was “all smiles, showing no signs of a breakup,” according to fellow frolickers. Mama Dee received a lavish basket for Mother’s Day but insisted all she really wanted were gardening tools. Planning on hiding some evidence, you wild thing? Another mother all about town was...

Gwen Stefani, shoppin’ on M Street in Georgetown. Missus Rossdale, in town to do a show, rocked a black cap and bright red lipstick, and was only outshined by Kingston, that beautiful baby boy of hers. Gwen-doll, sans bodyguard, managed to keep it “low-key and glam at the same time,” according to fancy-butt shoppers—does this girl evah get it wrong? Just as glowing and gorgeous elsewhere was...

Selma Blair, grabbin’ a bite at Orso, Hell-Ay, with Megan Mullally and a few unknowns. Selma was sitting on the patio but was stopped by a fan when she got up to use the little girls’ room. “She was totally gracious and sweet,” gushes my worshipping witness. “I’ve always thought she was gorgeous. I mean, this girl is flawless!”  Just as down-to-earth and even more famous was...

Adam Sandler, lunching at Paradise Cove in Malibu. The funnyman, clad in cargo pants and a tee, was there with his wife and another couple. According to fellow foamy forkers, he was mucho nice to a little boy who came up to chat with the boy-man star for a while. Another guy grabbin’ grub was...

The Rock, waiting for his car outside Dan Tana’s. The beefy lad wore jeans and a tee that showed off his impressive guns. “Huge and gorgeous!” marvel curbside witnesses. When someone asked what he was driving, he nonchalantly replied, “A black Rolls.” Oh, how very Paris.