Heidi Montag

Jean-Paul Aussenard/WireImage.com

A new single from Heidi Montag! Finally!

Only, initially we thought we'd been tricked. We clicked the link and the first thing we heard was what sounded like our computer telling us the file could only be played back on Soviet-era Tandys. Either that or our headphones had gone toward the light, which meant an office-wide hunt for a working pair might be at hand.

Turns out it was just the intro to "Fashion"...

The whole "accidentally discovering that GarageBand lets you make sound with the keys" effect doesn't strike us as kitschy enough to be cool in popular music yet. So we didn't focus too much on that. Instead, we chose to absorb the message in lyrics like "I live to be model thin." Good call, New York Times, she is a feminist hero for a new generation.

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