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Mariah Carey, Jennifer Aniston, Britney Spears, Chelsea Handler

Alberto E. Rodriguez/WireImage.com; INFdaily.com; Fame Pictures

Star magazine did a story on Hollywood housekeepers "telling all." The article claimed to reveal some "exclusive secrets" that would leave the reader shocked.

Obviously I was excited to find out some jaw-dropping information. Right after I called my housekeeper and gave her a sweet raise, I settled down to read the article…

Apparently, Jay-Z and Beyoncé are "demanding." No kidding. Mariah Carey wanders around tipsy. Still waiting for a surprise. Jennifer Aniston likes to walk around in a bikini. Oh, that must be horrible for the cleaning lady. You'd have to force clothes on me if I looked like that.

I was getting pretty frustrated, but then I stumbled upon something that threw me for a loop-dee-loop. Britney Spears' former maid claims she once pulled a half-eaten burger from under the pop star's bed. Look under my bed and try to find a plate with anything but crumbs. At least Britney knows when enough is enough. Star magazine: 1; Chelsea Lately: 0.

Follow Chelsea on Facebook.

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And follow all the laughs on Chelsea's blog.