Rachel Uchitel Tells Nothing

Rachel Uchitel’s "side of the story" is a big snoozer

By Chelsea Handler Dec 10, 2009 9:12 PMTags
Tiger Woods, Rachel Uchitel AP Photo/Dan Steinberg; AP Photo/David Zentz

OK! Magazine came out this week with an "exclusive" interview with Tiger Woods' first reported alleged mistress, Rachel Uchitel.  The cover said "My Side of the Story," so naturally I read it assuming she was going to talk about her alleged affair with Tiger.  For the record, I'm sick of saying "alleged," but they make me. 

Uchitel didn't say anything about Tiger.  She said that she is not a villain, she won't talk about who she leans on, and that she likes Twilight.  All information nobody cares about.

She also explained a bit about her job as a VIP hostess at a nightclub, insisting it has nothing to do with sex, even though people are speculating that it does.  She said that she gets the DJ to play music VIP guests like, and she gets them "french fries from McDonald's."  Thanks for the inside tip.  She's basically a drive thru. 

Other than the names of her dogs, I did learn something from this article.  Rachel Uchitel made a bad decision when she cancelled that press conference.  People cared what she had to say then.  Now we have 11 other girls to get details from, and we don't need her.  Unless, of course, you're craving french fries.