Gregg DeGuire/FilmMagicToday is a difficult day for Patton Oswalt.
Exactly one year ago, the comedian's wife of 11 years, Michelle McNamara, died at the age of 46. He released a statement earlier this year revealing that she passed away due to a combination of drugs in her system along with a health condition they were unaware of.
They couple had one child together, Alice, who is 8-years-old.
Oswalt took to Facebook today to commemorate the anniversary of McNamara's death in an emotional piece that documents how he's trying to move forward.
"I'm one year into this new life -- one I never even imagined, and I can imagine some pretty pessimistic and dark contingencies, some stomach-freezing 'what ifs.' But not this one. This one had such a flat, un-poetic immediacy," he wrote. "The world gazes at you like a hungry but indifferent reptile when you're widowed."
He continued, "Last night I took off my wedding ring. I couldn't bear removing it since April 21st, 2016. But now it felt obscene. That anonymous poem about the man mourning his dead lover for a year and a day, for craving a kiss from her 'clay cold lips.' I was inviting more darkness. Removing the ring was removing the last symbol of denial of who I was now, and what my life is, and what my responsibilities are. But it's not fatal."
Oswalt said he decided to put the ring in a memory box the couple shared of all their happiest times, including movie tickets and trinkets from various places they've visited.
"Michelle brought me nothing but happiness. You see it in our faces, that picture between the two pics of the box," he wrote. "That was taken literally a month after we started going out. Look at us. We knew this was it. So the ring goes with the happy stuff."
He also made sure to note that he's not going to take today and make it some sort of "dark ritual."
Rather, he explained, "I'm gonna pick Alice up at school later. She wants to go to a pet store and buy "worms that will grow into beetles." She's becoming a cool bug girl and Michelle would have thought that was hilarious (Michelle HATED insects). Then we'll go get ice cream. Or go home and play a game. I'm her dad. I want to make her days fun."
As for his own life, Oswalt wrote, "I plan things better. I'm more patient. I still sleep badly, and my weight and health need some work, but that's combat damage. There's got to be a way to fix those without being shitty to friends and strangers who are struggling with chaos. I'll try."
He left his fans with one final message, "One year in. Another year starting. It's awful, but it's not fatal."
Our thoughts are with him and his daughter on this difficult day.