Your Favorite Drunk Munchies Just Got Ranked By a Nutritionist and You Won't Like What You'll Learn

At least we can still eat Doritos

By Dominique Haikel Sep 13, 2016 7:51 PMTags
McDonald's fries

We've all reached for those familiar drunk munchies after a long night on the town. Chances are, even though you know those foods aren't the best for your health, all of that priceless knowledge is going to go right out the window after a few vodka sodas this weekend. Why not plan ahead to make the best of said inevitable moment? Marie Claire got nutritionist Keri Gans to rank some of the top drunk foods in order of least to most healthy. We def don't mean you should switch these foods out with your lunchtime kale and quinoa bowl anytime soon, but if you're going to grub on crap, this list will show you what's going to ruin your life the least. Instant ramen, burritos, cheeseburgers, pizza, Doritos and fries were all ranked, and what you're about to read may surprise you while also making you barf.

 

photos
The Best and Worst Fast Food, Ranked

We would imagine food like burritos and ramen being the better choices of the bunch. We assumed a few harmless noodles and a bunch of protein-packed beans would be okay, you know? False. Instant ramen is the worst item on the list, not because of calories, but because of the outrageous amount of sodium in each pack. Being a salt-filled McSalty pants is not going to do anything for your hangover, either. Skip the noods and proceed to one of the items at the bottom of this list.

As for burritos, they are the second worst item on this list because the universe does not want you to have fun anymore. Just kidding. It's actually because you'd be eating a giant, artery-clogging mess, rolled up into a warm tortilla. Pass.

Surprise, surprise! Burgers are (kind of) okay to eat. If you're mourning the loss of your late night Taco Bell run, downing a burger is the next best thing you can do. The meat has tons of iron, which is always a plus, and as long as you aren't piling on extra fat-riddled ingredients (R.I.P. cheese), it's not the worst thing you could put in your mouth. Same goes for pizza, thank Christ. Believe it or not, the mozzarella cheese is providing your bones with some calcium-rich love. If you can stay within a one slice limit (ha!), you're golden.

These last two might come as a shock to junk food fans. It turns out, Doritos and French fries are the two best drunk foods you can put in your body. All hope is not lost! If you can stay away from aggressive family-sized bags, you'll be alright with this low calorie and low sodium chip. As for fries, which take the top spot, there's a speck of potassium in the potatoes, which is never a bad thing. Surprisingly there isn't a horrible amount of sodium either. In other words, don't punish yourself the next time you wake up hungover next to a chewed pizza crust or an empty bag of Doritos. You're going to be just fine, okay?