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Even almost two decades after his daughter's murder, John Ramsey can recall the horrifying events surrounding the unsolved case like it was yesterday. 

In newly released clips granting insight into the forthcoming A&E documentary The Killing of JonBenét: The Truth UncoveredJonBenét Ramsey's father is revealing the suffering he endured following her death. Reading from a diary entry, Ramsey admits, "Death would've been a welcome relief from the pain and agony I felt," later continuing, "Life is difficult to go on with. The burden is almost too heavy." 

Ramsey goes on to explain how his family's life shifted in the wake of the 6-year-old beauty queen's murder, reciting, "We keep our curtains closed. Our doors and windows are locked. Going anywhere is a major organized and planned operation. We get people coming to the door claiming to have information that can be helpful in the case. They're tabloid reporters."

Amid the media firestorm surrounding allegations that he could've been responsible for her death, John said that after removing television and newspapers from their home, "It was hard to not see that kind of stuff, but it didn't matter. We lost our child. That's what mattered."

An additional sneak peek uncovers never-before-seen police documents that initially describes JonBenet's death as a "family murder," with her parents as the primary suspects. This notion was later debunked when evidence tested from the little girl's underwear revealed "that mixed with JonBenet's blood was the DNA of an unknown male." 

According to the documentary, officials in the family's hometown of Boulder, Col. failed to send the shocking information to the District Attorney's office "for months" after JonBenet was strangled to death in her home on Christmas day 1996, an incident that halted the multi-decade investigation for years to come. 

A third clip reveals the cause of unexplained wounds found on Ramsey's back and face. "We were pretty sure that these injuries were not on JonBenet beforehand because pictures were taken of her earlier that day. So these injuries occurred right at or about the time of death," an investigator says in the video. 

A closer look at the bizarre marks revealed that each one was equidistant from the other, an injury he says could have only been caused by a stun gun. 

With the 20th anniversary of her death looming ahead, renewed interest in the cold case has been sparked once more with multiple television specials dedicated to the crime. The Killing of JonBenét: The Truth Uncovered airs Sept. 5 on A&E at 9 p.m., and CBS' six-part The Case Of: JonBenét Ramsey premieres on Sept. 18 at 8 p.m. PT/8:30 ET.