Everything That's Happening in This Embrace Between Bradley Cooper and Jonah Hill

It truly says 1,000 words.

If it's true that a picture tells 1,000 words, well, this one is a Harlequin novel.

Behold what is perhaps the most loving, caring, bro-tastic photo that has ever been taken in Hollywood. We give you one Bradley Cooper and one Jonah Hill, in a beautiful embrace. They both attended last night's Los Angeles premiere of War Dogs at the historic TCL Chinese Theater. The official pretense of the evening was their new movie—Hill stars in the flick alongside the young and strapping Miles Teller, in which they play a pair of young bros who find themselves thrust into the dangerous world of government wartime weapons contracting. 

The movie is directed by none other than Todd Phillips, he of The Hangover fame, so it's only natural that Mr. Cooper would wind up with a cameo—as a professional arms dealer, no less. It was thus that led him to be in attendance at the premiere, where he met Hill after what we can only assume was a very prolonged time apart. And the picture to end all pictures was born. 

Now, an image like this can't be taken for simply face value. It reflects complicated emotions, and deserves to be explored as such. You're probably wondering just what the heck is going on in this frame, or, more specifically, what exactly Jonah and Bradley are thinking. If we could have been a fly on the wall during this exchange, well, we would be able to answer that for you. We would also be very, very fortunate. 

Instead, we're going to use our imagination. Below, the greatest possibilities of what is exactly happening in this photo.

1. They are practicing their audition real for The Notebook 2.

2. Jonah is attempting to smooth the wrinkles out of Bradley's coat. 

3. Bradley is doing that thing doctors do when they check for swollen glands.

4. They are comparing beard-thickness.

5. They are comparing levels of ginger beard-ness.

6. Jonah is showing Bradley how he used to dance with his middle school girlfriend.

7. Bradley is telling Jonah very nicely that if he ever tries to steal his beard look again, he's not going to be this polite about it.

8. Bradley is asking Jonah for his stylists' number, because he just can't with this suit that he had to wear tonight.

9. Jonah is showing off the results of the new electric toothbrush he just bought. 

10. Bradley is really impressed with the results of the new electric toothbrush Jonah just bought. 

11. Jonah heard Brad was hitting the bread basket a little too hard over summer vacation and is just checking to make sure he's still keeping it tight.

12. Bradley is checking to make sure that beard is real, Santa Claus-style.

13. They are both congratulating each other on perfecting the hair-swoop. 

14. They are both congratulating each other on perfecting beard growth. 

15. Jonah just asked Brad if he'll wear the other half of his Best Friends Forever charm bracelet.