Splash NewsSchool's out for summer!
And by "school," we mean work. And by "out for summer," we mean "You probably won't be in your office any less but at least the weather is nicer." How's that for some Memorial Day Weekend cheer, huh?
But regardless of the realities of adulthood, the long weekend is here and it's time to celebrate. And whenever it's time to celebrate, we look no further than one Leonardo DiCaprio for guidance. The actor, while one of the hardest-working in Hollywood, is also one of the best leisure-ers (that's a word, right) known to man. The guy can kick back, and kick back hard. Whether he's lounging in the South of France or some random dude's backyard, he makes the most of his time off and we respect that.
We respect it so much that we're now taking all of his most valuable vacation lessons and sharing them with you. All you need is a few hours of freedom and the most laissez-faire attitude of all time.
First, you'll need a bike. Leo prefers his of the CitiBike variety, but anything on two wheels will do. Next you'll need an old T-Shirt and a hat you borrowed from your dad. Got that? Then grab a pair of slip-on shoes—if you want to ride like DiCaprio you'll need to protect your feet like DiCaprio—and you're off!
Make sure you also don your goofiest grin that says to those you pass, I am so relaxed right now I could cry! Look at me just cruising past you, with the wind in my hair and the sun on my back. Plus, I'm also helping the environment while you, my car-confined compadres, are blasting toxic emissions into the ozone. If you are unsure how to harness enough joy to convey such an expression, simply think about how much Leo loves bikes. Because seriously, the guy LOVES BIKES.
Once you're all outfitted with your bike, you'll want to ride right to the nearest dance party. No matter if it's in the hottest nightclub or a sketchy warehouse, so long as there is bumping tunes and mildly racy lighting you'll be set. Once there, swap your dad hat out for a newsboy cap and pull it all the way down, until all you can see is the edge of your newsboy brim. This ensures that you will retain (almost) total anonymity and be able to channel all your mental energy into feeling the rhythm.
Bumping and grinding is the number one way to channel the Leo leisure lifestyle, but feel free to toss a hand up in the air every once in awhile if the mood strikes. But do not, under any circumstances, wave it like you just don't care. That would be far too obvious.
Next up: A yacht party. We know, we know: How are you going to find a yacht party, and how are you supposed to get to the south of France when all you have for transportation is this CitiBike? Those are questions that someone following the Leo life of leisure would never ask. All that matters is that you are lounging on a boat deck as soon as possible, with a drink in your hand and the memories of life's commitments far behind you.
There is only so much time that a person can spend simply sitting around on a yacht (although, you certainly wouldn't know it if you looked through paparazzi pictures of Leonardo), so if you tire of your aperitif there are a few approved activities you can strike up. The first is, well, this:
Zip up your jetpack and get ready to fly! You are allowed one single "Jack, we're flying!" joke. You can also try your hand at toy water guns—and no matter if you have a companion with which to battle; look how much fun you can have just running around by yourself!
And finally, there is one extremely important requirement for living your best leisure life: A vape pen. Leo's trusty companion goes everywhere with him, ensure that melted-away stress is never more than a puff away. Let's raise our collective vape pens to the long weekend.